Seniors

Grumpy or Grateful?

November 26, 2024 by Nancy 16 Comments

Once a week I gather around a table in an assisted living facility nearby with a group of seasoned saints to go over a lesson from The Hope of Glory. This is just the most recent of several groups I’ve been privileged to meet with over the years, but I’ve gotten to know and cherish these ladies in a special way.

As with most volunteer assignments from the Lord, I feel sure I am blessed more by our time together than they are. I breeze in from my busy life with a report on the daily weather or other happenings in the “outside world” about which they are curious, and then we settle down to our lesson. We always close with prayer requests, and this is when the blessings just seem to pour out on the table like so many cups of spilled coffee.

Of course there are the normal complaints about slow service in the dining hall or delayed response times when they push a button for help. We discuss everyone’s latest aches and pains. Concerns are expressed about a prodigal adult child or grandchild, and more often than I’d like, we pray for someone’s illness or impending surgery. Yet no matter what needs we share, before we bow our heads to pray someone always expresses a sentiment of gratitude, and that grateful spirit permeates the room.

“I’m so grateful my son calls me now and we have a better relationship,” Nan reports. “Of course it’s not as often as I’d like, but it’s more than before so I’m grateful.”

“My family is moving me to Kansas to be near two of my daughters,” June announces. “I don’t mind because they are doing all the work and I know it will be a good thing. I’m so grateful for how they take care of me.” With tears in our eyes at losing her from our group, we still share in her gratitude.

“When I think back over the jobs I’ve had in my life, it amazes me that I’m able to live in a place like this,” Myrth reflects. “I mean I never made a lot of money, but God has provided this for me, and I’m grateful.”

All these women have experienced significant losses in their lives. They all have reasons to be grumpy, yet they choose gratitude instead. I’ve learned from them that it’s their faith, their personal relationship with Jesus Christ, which makes this possible.

So this week our lesson is titled “Attitude of Gratitude” and our key verse is from 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. As I read these words from the lesson, I’ll say a silent prayer that they speak to each of our hearts, including mine:

A grateful heart doesn’t search for what’s missing, but delights in what’s present. A grateful heart expects the best from others, and gives its best in return. A grateful heart forgets what might have been, and enjoys every moment of each new day as it comes. A grateful heart is a prayer of its own—one that fills the heavens with praise!

May we all be less grumpy and more grateful this Thanksgiving.

Donkey Days

September 26, 2023 by Nancy 20 Comments

Some volunteer assignments are such a good fit that you feel like you should be paying for the privilege of being involved. That’s how I’ve felt since I started spending Friday mornings helping with the “Seniors at the Ranch” program sponsored by the Flying Horse Foundation at Flying Horse Ranch north of Colorado Springs.

I first heard about the program from my granddaughter Ellie who works with kids in the Equine Assisted Learning program at the foundation. She knew I had a passion for both horses and seniors so thought the senior program would be a good fit for me, and sure-as-shootin’ she was right!

As a van load of seniors from a senior living facility first arrives at the ranch with their staff assistants, they are quick to exclaim about the beauty of the surroundings. Whether exiting the van under their own power or with the help of a walker or a wheelchair lift, the amazement is the same. Just the drive through the beautiful countryside to arrive at the ranch is a joyful break from their normal routines, but then the real fun begins.

First they make their way to a beautiful, comfortably furnished patio outside the 10,500 square-foot, stunning barn featuring a stagecoach, carriage, and covered wagon. Then the visitors are introduced to two of the permanent residents of Flying Horse Ranch, miniature donkeys Bridgette, 29, and Carlie, 28. These precious creatures are just the right height for sidling up to a seated senior for a scratch on the head or a nuzzle. As the seniors sip on lemonade or coffee, staff member Heather Howell answers all the questions they have about the donkeys and the 1400-acre cattle and horse ranch. It’s especially entertaining when we serve Bridgette and Carlie their mushy snack, as they no longer have teeth to chew anything harder. Many of the senior guests identify with that problem and laugh!

Before meeting our dynamic duo I had no idea that donkeys bear the distinct shape of a cross on their backs. Called the mark of Christ, legend has it that God gave them this marking because it was a donkey that carried Mary into Bethlehem and another that Jesus rode into Jerusalem. So the donkeys provide inspiration for a faith message, too.

What I’ve loved most, however, is hearing the stories brought to seniors’ minds just by being at the ranch, looking out at horses grazing in rolling meadows, and scratching curly-headed donkeys between the ears.

“My sister and I grew up on a ranch in eastern Colorado,” Charlotte shared. “We delivered newspapers on horseback before school every morning, but sometimes when we put our horse back in the corral we set the latch so he could eventually get out. He would show up at our school a while later. The teacher would point out that our horse had gotten out again, and we’d explain that it took both of us to get him home. We never did go back to school the rest of the day!”

One sunny Friday morning a wheelchair-bound senior named Maria chuckled to herself before sharing her story with me. “I lived in northern New Mexico growing up. My cousin and I once climbed on a cow that was sitting on the ground thinking we could ride it into the barn. She was five and I was three. Of course the cow stood up and dumped us onto the ground, but we didn’t have far to fall.”

Would those memories have surfaced without an outing to the ranch? Maybe, maybe not. I just know I was privileged to be there when they did, and I’m every bit as blessed by those donkey days as the seniors who visit.

To schedule a senior group for a visit, please email seniors@flyinghorsefoundation.org.

To Love and Be Loved

February 11, 2022 by Nancy 17 Comments

This time of year there is a lot of emphasis on love in our society, but too often the focus is on romantic love and little thought is given to other types of love. The love of parent and child, of grandparent and grandchild, or of one friend for another are all incredible forces of love worth celebrating. We can show our love to the seniors in our lives by reminding them that love is both timeless and ageless.

Jesus was the perfect model of how we are to love, and He asked us to love ourselves, love others, and love God.

First, love ourselves. In Mark 12:31, Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Yet because of messages they heard as a child, old wounds, failures, or even sin, older adults sometimes find it hard to love themselves. We need to remind them that we can all love ourselves because God first loved us. And He loves us unconditionally. He loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us so that we could dwell in His presence for eternity. He loves us enough to convict us of our sins and free us from even the guilt of them. He loves us enough to indwell us with the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. He loves us enough to give us people to love and to be loved by, and a Creation to enjoy. He stuffs our shoeboxes with valentines!

Second, we are to love others. In John 13:34, Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another.” Some people are easier to love than others. But we are even to love the unlovable. It may be unrealistic to believe that we will be able to love everyone we encounter unconditionally, but it is realistic to believe that we can consider choosing love as our first response in every situation. What a difference that would make in the daily lives of those in care facilities. Tell them it’s possible.

Finally, we are to love God. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” He called this the first and greatest commandment. We love God when we worship Him and give Him praise. We love Him when we obey Him and trust Him with our past, present, and future. And we can do that at any age.

Let’s reach out to the seniors in our lives with the love that lasts—the kind of love worth celebrating today and every day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

First published in Pikes Peak Senior News, February/March 2021.

Do Last Names Matter?

June 24, 2020 by Nancy 22 Comments

I’m on my third last name. I had the first two for twenty years each and this one has been my moniker for almost 32 years. Recently I began wondering at what point no one calls you by your last name any more anyway.

My mother-in-law was in a repeating cycle her doctor told us was common. She’d have a fall, go into the hospital, go to rehab, then go back home. Things would be fine for a while, but then the cycle would repeat—until the time she didn’t make it all the way back around and went to assisted living instead of home. This made for a lot of different hospital and rehab rooms.

Each room she inhabited would have a white board or a door plaque for the patient’s name. My mother-in-law’s name was Mary Frances Brummett. Not Mary. Not Frances. Mary Frances. Inevitably I would come into her room and see her name displayed as Mary. I would pull a pen from my purse or find the white board marker and add “Frances.”

Sometimes I’d be visiting when a caregiver came in with a chirpy, “How are we today, Mary?” One day I corrected one of these people and after she left the room Mary Frances said, “I’ve told them all but it doesn’t do any good.” Really? With all the other indignities she was suffering her last few years, why couldn’t she at least be called by her preferred first name?

And why were they calling her by her first name anyway? I’m old enough to remember when a married woman was no longer addressed by her first name. “The doctor will see you now, Mrs. Brummett,” was the way she would have been summoned in those days. Sales clerks in stores may have dared to address my mother as “Honey” or “Dear” if they’d known her for years, but if they wanted to make the sale they would also address her as Mrs. Parker, not Lois. Only those to whom she said, “Please, call me Lois,” would dare to do so.

When did everyone start calling older people by their first names? Was it some weird aberration of political correctness? Or did the HIPPA laws demand that we all become more anonymous and go only by our first names? I really don’t know, but I have to feel it contributes to older people feeling like they are not being given the respect they deserve.

During this Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve only been able to piece together bits of information about the dear seniors who were in my Bible study at assisted living, a facility with a coronavirus outbreak, because HIPPA laws prevent the facility from telling me anything about their conditions. I’ve watched the obituaries faithfully, and yes, I’ve seen a couple of those dear souls listed. My consolation is that I know they went straight to heaven. I was never told their last names, and didn’t feel I should ask, so I’m left to identify them by their first names and photos.

Do last names matter? I suppose if you’re a descendant of the Rockefellers or a professional genealogist they do. Otherwise, I’ll add this to the list I’m accruing of lost cultural battles and just be happy to go by Nancy. I hate it when they mispronounce our last name as “Broomette” anyway. And the Bible says that when we get to heaven we’ll get a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it (Revelation 2:17). Wonder what mine will be? I hope I like it.