Gratitude

‘Tis the Tweason!

November 28, 2022 by Nancy 4 Comments

Here we are in the in between. Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is still a few weeks away. So how are we to spend this tweason if you’ll indulge my coining of that word? How can we hold on to the best of the last holiday while eagerly anticipating the next?

Holding on to the gratitude we felt at Thanksgiving is certainly a start. Sure, we are to be grateful at all times. But gratitude is more top of heart when everything we read or ponder has a thankfulness theme. I Thessalonians 5:18 encourages us to give thanks in all circumstances. Not necessarily for all circumstances but finding something to be thankful for in the midst of our situation no matter what it is. Perhaps writing with this verse in mind, Sarah Young wrote in the November 28 entry in Jesus Listens: “I give You thanks, regardless of my feelings, and You give me Joy, regardless of my circumstances.”

So give thanks. When we are able to purchase a gift for everyone on our Christmas lists, let’s give thanks for the resources that make those purchases possible. If a harried shopper cuts us off in traffic or takes the parking spot we were aiming for, let’s give thanks we aren’t going home with a dented fender. Give thanks.

I love that Sarah Young reminds us of the promise of joy because that’s something else that spans the seasons. As we move into the first week of Advent, the time we anticipate celebrating the coming of Christ to the world, we begin a four-week journey that helps us focus on hope, love, joy and peace. All four should fill our hearts and minds during this tweason, but joy can be a part of every week, every celebration, and every memory. I have four friends who have lost their soulmates, their life partners, their husbands this past year. In the midst of their grief, may the memories they have bring joy. Or so I earnestly pray.

Before we know it this tweason will have passed away and it will be Christmas! Christmas, a time for remembering that out of His great love for us God sent His son to dwell among us. Emmanuel. God with us. May the anticipation we feel now be centered more on Him and less on the harried hustle and bustle to come. During this in between time, let’s set our hearts on the true meaning of Christmas and let the rest be just the colorful trappings of the holiday.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Joyous Tweason, and Merry Christmas! God bless us one and all.

In Case You Didn’t Know

July 30, 2020 by Nancy 12 Comments

Sometimes scientific research produces results that are amazing, and sometimes the end result of all that time and money spent is simply duh-mazing. The conclusion is so obvious any one of us could have arrived at it ourselves.

For example, friendship has been the topic of many research studies over the past few decades. One Harvard study followed a class of graduates for 80 years to determine, among other lifestyle factors, how friendship affected their well-being. Other friendship studies Google lists cover how long it takes to make a friend, what attracts one person to another in a friendship-building sort of way, how marriage partners often value their friendship over their sex life, and even how friendship can make the difference in later years in the fight against isolation and loneliness. This is all well and good, but didn’t we know this before? Anyone with even one friend reaps the benefits and knows the value of friendship. Do we really need scientists to tell us it’s important?

Another topic for research? Gratitude. Studies show that grateful people are generally less depressed, less stressed, and for the most part happier than people who fail to recognize all the many things in their lives for which to be thankful. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., wrote a book titled Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier. In the book the author, who is editor-in-chief of the Journal of Positive Psychology—examines “what it means to think and feel gratefully and invites readers to learn how to put this powerful emotion into practice.” Scientifically speaking, Emmons states, “regular grateful thinking can increase happiness by as much as 25 percent.” I read enough of the book to say the material is well-presented and interesting, and I’m sure his study is empirically sound, but for the most part I already knew that. You?

And then there’s the subject of kindness. A recent AP article on kindness reported that a University of California Riverside psychology professor conducted numerous experiments over 20 years and “repeatedly found that people feel better when they are kind to others, even more than when they are kind to themselves.” Subjects who went out of their way to do an extra three acts of kindness each week for others, even small things like opening a door, “became happier and felt more connected to the world.” OK, then. No surprises there!

As I read the results from all these studies I couldn’t help but think our mothers were right. To make a friend be a friend. Be thankful for what you have and express your gratitude to others. Treat people the way you want to be treated (The Golden Rule). In other words, find a friend, be grateful for that friend, do something kind for that friend…and be happy! No scientific study required.

Grateful for the Fruit

November 15, 2018 by Nancy 22 Comments

My son Tim McConnell, lead pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Colorado Springs, is currently preaching a sermon series on GENTLENESS—part of the fruit of the Spirit listed in the Bible in Galatians 5:22-23. Listening to his encouragement that gentleness should be evident in the lives of believers today more than ever, I was reminded of a time when I saw the fruit of the Spirit come alive in a very real way.

It was years ago at a special prayer session called by the executive director of a nonprofit ministry where I volunteered. Family Life Services is a residential facility for single moms and their kids and, like many small nonprofits, it is a “pray and patch as we go” type of ministry.

On this particular evening a group of board members, staff members, and volunteers gathered to pray for the ministry in a more intentional way than we had for years. We were asked to begin our individual prayer time by finding a quiet place on the grounds, and by asking the Lord what He would have us pray for.

As I walked across the lawn, so many of the needs we had ran through my mind. We needed funds to replace some plaster falling from the ceiling on the third floor of the Victorian house that serves as ministry headquarters. We needed new carpeting. We needed someone to donate grounds keeping services. More important, we needed childcare volunteers for Thursday evenings when the moms meet for group counseling.

But then I quieted my mind and my heart and asked the Lord how He would have me pray. Clearly I heard Him say, “Pray for PEACE in times of conflict. Pray for LOVE to surround the mothers and children.”

When the group reconvened after 30 minutes of individual prayer, we shared what each of us had heard from the Lord. Soon it became evident that He had not instructed us to pray for anything tangible. The words GOODNESS and PATIENCE were quickly added to PEACE and LOVE. By the time we got all the way around the table, I realized that the Lord had instructed us to pray for everything comprising the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All gifts available through the Holy Spirit to those who believe in Jesus Christ.

What JOY we felt as we realized how intimately He was involved in our ministry. How encouraging it was to know that He cared enough to lead our prayers in the direction that would accomplish His purposes. Even when our eyes were focused on the things right in front of us, the Lord’s eyes were on the whole mission of the ministry and the lives He knew could be changed.

We need to remember to pray for the fruit of the Spirit to be evident not only in our own lives and personal ministries, but in the lives of all those for whom we pray. Instead of asking for a friend’s relief from financial or health concerns, maybe we should be praying that she will have JOY in the midst of the trials, or PATIENCE to wait for God’s solution in His time.

We can encourage a friend by telling her when we see the GENTLENESS in her response to a situation or the KINDNESS she shows to her elderly neighbor. Maybe you notice that someone who struggles with the need to gossip about others makes a conscious effort not to do so, and you can praise her for her SELF-CONTROL. Certainly a volunteer who dedicates year after year to a church or school near you should be commended for her FAITHFULNESS.

In this season of Thanksgiving, I choose to be grateful for the fruit of the Spirit. By recognizing it in others and affirming what we see, we can make this world a gentler place. And by praying for that fruit to be evident in us, we can live more fruitful lives.

Thankful Living

November 22, 2017 by Nancy 12 Comments

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.—Psalm 100:4-5

We live in a society that makes it easier to grumble than to be grateful. We have to move someplace we never really wanted to live, and so we grumble. We are disappointed that the political candidate we support isn’t elected, and so we grumble. Daily aggravations can produce grumbling as well: scheduled visits are cancelled, we have to wait for a doctor’s appointment, we look forward to a meal only to be faced with a surly server. All these things and more give us opportunities to grumble.

We even feel justified in our grumbling, don’t we? If we come from the misguided assumption that life should be fair, then grumbling is a given. But what if we change our assumption and our thinking? What if we begin to look, each and every day, not for reasons to grumble, but for reasons to be grateful? What if we could establish a habit of thankful living?

Ann Voscamp wrote a book titled One Thousand Gifts which began as a challenge from a friend to write down 1,000 blessings in her life. Ann’s list far exceeded 1,000 blessings once she opened her eyes to all that was around her. Can we do it? Can we begin to look for opportunities to be grateful rather than opportunities to grumble? Certainly keeping our eyes on God is a good place to start. Ann wrote in her blog, “We will give thanks to God not because of how we feel, but because of who He is.” Let us give thanks.

Can we do it? Can we even convert a life of habitual grumbling into a life of thankful living? With God’s help, and by keeping our focus on Him, we can. Certainly not all of us are grumblers, but all of us can be more aware of the blessings that are ours.

The older we grow, the more blessings we have in our blessings accounts. We enter into a life of thankful living when we spend more time remembering our blessings than fretting about what we don’t have now. For example, those of us blessed to be parents and grandparents can easily find ourselves wishing we could spend more time with those we love, but just the very existence of those people in our families is a blessing, isn’t it?

A woman having breakfast with her husband at a restaurant entered into a discussion with their waitress and found out the waitress was excited about leaving to visit her grandchildren the next day. “How old are they?” the woman asked. “They are six and eight,” the waitress replied. “How long has it been since you’ve seen them?” the woman inquired. “Oh, I’ve never seen them,” the waitress answered. Certainly that puts having to go weeks or months without seeing those we love into perspective, doesn’t it?

Paul wrote his letter to the Christians in Philippi, the Book of Philippians in the Bible, while he was in prison in Rome. Certainly Paul had much to grumble about. He was falsely accused and unfairly imprisoned. Yet the Book of Philippians is known as the book of joy! In spite of his circumstances, Paul was able to write a message of joy because of the certainty of his faith in Jesus Christ. His joy and gratitude were based on the eternity he knew was waiting for him, not on the prison cell around him.

We can have the same attitude of gratitude that sustained Paul. We can experience the joy of thankful living by focusing on all that God has done for us—and on our eternal life to come. As Thanksgiving comes this year, let us say along with Paul, “I thank my God” (Philippians 1:3).

(Excerpted in part from The Hope of Glory, Volume Two, publication date TBD.)

Feeling Grape-ful

November 17, 2016 by Nancy 16 Comments

Even when grapes aren’t on my grocery list it seems I always come home from the store with some. I can’t resist those beautiful green or red orbs, now usually packaged in easy-to-grab cellophane bags.

And is there any other fruit more…well, fruitful? Grapes are not only a delicious, nutritious snack for school kids and dieters, they are used to make jam, jelly, juice, raisins, vinegar, grape seed oil and, of course—wine! In fact, 71% of all grapes grown are used to make wine, and the United States is fifth in in the world in grape production, behind Spain, France, Italy and Turkey. (If you somehow missed seeing the episode of “I Love Lucy” where Lucy visits a winery in Italy and learns to stomp grapes, find it on YouTube. It’s always good for a laugh!)

In this season of nostalgia and gratitude, however, I’ve discovered yet another purpose for grapes. No doubt you, like me, have friends and acquaintances going through difficult times this season—or maybe the person suffering is you. Two people I know have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. A wonderful couple in our community lost a son to addiction in spite of every effort to save him. Natural and manmade disasters fill evening news reports and newspapers.

In light of all this, I want to be more aware of the blessings I have been given—and to focus anew not on what I don’t have, but on what I do. This is where the grapes come in. While sitting quietly with a small bowl of grapes next to my favorite reading chair, I decided to let each grape I plucked from the bunch represent a blessing that came my way this year. Taste and see that the Lord is good…we read in Psalm 34:8. Oh how His goodness became apparent to me as I acknowledged one blessing after another…all while enjoying the fruit of the vine.

On every bunch of grapes there will be a few vacant stems. Maybe a bird ate that grape or it was sorted out of the bunch for some reason. I let the empty stems represent blessings that didn’t come my way, but went to someone else instead. Maybe to one of the people that I know is hurting. And so I was even grateful for the missing grapes.

Grapes nourish us, but then so does gratitude. It’s said a grateful heart is in itself a prayer. I hope you can join me in being grape-ful this season. Taste and see!

This blog post first appeared as a column in The Country Register, Nov-Dec 2016.

Thankful Living

November 27, 2013 by Nancy 18 Comments

When I am a very old woman, I want to be like some of the older women I know. Women who have a perpetual twinkle in their eyes. Women who draw everyone closer to learn the secret to their joy—the secret to their thankful living.

It occurs to me that since we tend to become more of who we truly are as we age, that it’s not too soon for me to practice thankful living: not too soon to turn grumbling into gratitude. I’ve observed that with the perspective of age thankful living has a deeper, broader definition. In years past grandmas and grandpas like us may have found it hard to be grateful if they couldn’t be physically with their kids and grandkids on Thanksgiving. With age, we understand that the real blessing is that these loved ones are in the world, are living the lives ordained for them to live, and that we have them to love. We give thanks.

My husband and I were once having breakfast at a restaurant during the holidays when we struck up a conversation with our waitress. She shared that she was indeed “having a good day” because she was excited about leaving to visit her grandchildren the next day.

“How old are they?” I asked.

“They are eight and six,” the waitress replied.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen them?”

“Oh, I’ve never seen them!” she answered.

I could barely swallow the rest of my breakfast as I realized how blessed we were. Not only did we have 12 grandchildren in our blended family, but we were able to snuggle each one as an infant—and have celebrated many birthdays, milestones, and holidays with various combinations of them over the years. Truly, we are blessed.

So how can we make our remaining days full of gratitude rather than grumbling? How can we engage in thankful living—the lifestyle of thanksgiving that brings a twinkle to our eyes? We might begin like the author Ann Voscamp. When Ann first accepted the challenge to list 1,000 blessings in her life, she had no idea the list would become the best-selling book One Thousand Gifts—or that it would lead to an international ministry. She simply developed the habit of noticing the smallest of blessings: jam piled high on toast, mail in the mailbox, the blue jay singing from the top of the spruce tree. We can do that. What great things will God do with our expressions of gratitude?

When I am a very old lady, I know what the secret will be that puts a twinkle in my eye—but I don’t want it to be a secret at all. It will be the fact that when I sit around a Thanksgiving table to give thanks, I have Someone to thank. I don’t have to thank the universe for my blessings, because I know they come from the Creator of the universe! I thank God. And I pray I can share all I know about His love and salvation until my dying day.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving—followed by a lifetime of thankful living. And may the Giver of all put a perpetual twinkle in your eye! It’s no secret that He wants to give you that gift.