Nancy

Pet Chronicles

August 29, 2016 by Nancy 20 Comments

How we love our pets. I don’t know if it was the expression on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes that tipped off the total stranger sitting in the waiting room with her dog. I just know that as I was leaving the vet’s office after dropping off my cat Beau for surgery, she leaped up to give me a hug, and soon I was crying on her shoulder sobbing, “It’s just so hard to leave him here.”

Beau had a gross looking sore on one of his hind feet. The vet wisely decided the best plan of action was to amputate his toe and send the whole mess to the lab for evaluation. The test came back positive for a low grade cancer, so taking the toe was the right decision and gives him a good chance at survival. Still, as I dropped him off that morning you would have thought I was the one having an amputation.

My concern for Beau started me thinking about all the pets I have loved in my lifetime. I remember each one so clearly because each one still occupies a place in my heart. You, too?

The first dog I can remember was a brown and white spotted, mid-sized mutt named Sally. She had the brightest brown eyes, the pinkest tongue, and the curliest tail you’ll ever see—and I loved her so much. Sally was just one more of the playmates my sisters and I had when we played hopscotch or jumped rope. She was always with us and always up for a romp. Over the years we also had a collie named Prince, a cocker named Prissy, and a cat named Cocomo. How I remember each one.

As a newlywed in the sixties my first “baby” was a miniature dachshund named Sebastian. This is the dog I dressed up in baby clothes while awaiting the birth of my first son because he weighed seven pounds and I thought I could practice on him! He’s also the dog that was so jealous once the baby came that he lifted his leg all around the bottom of the changing-table skirt I had painstakingly made. In so many ways Sebastian was just too smart to be a dog, but he was funny and affectionate and my heart still leaps whenever I see a mini-dachshund.

Two more dogs followed. Gorgeous light golden retrievers named Lady and Lad. Lad was Lady’s puppy. She gave birth to 11 puppies, but I was on the phone with the vet after 10 had been born and he told me to bring her in for a check-up. I called her and she obeyed, dropping puppy number eleven out on his head.

I have a feeling that was Lad, because as one vet said, “He’s about as bright as a billiard ball!” Lady was brighter, however, and both dogs were loyal and lovable. They were my jogging partners during a difficult time in my life. After Lady and Lad, I haven’t had the heart to get another dog. The holes they left just seem too large to fill.

Naively, I thought cats might be less of an emotional investment. Wrong. My son Tim convinced me to adopt a calico cat we named Callie. Next we adopted two kittens I named Kate and Allie after my favorite TV sitcom at the time. After a trip to the vet, we had to change Allie’s name to Al because she was a he! When Kate escaped one night and didn’t make it home, she was replaced by Betsy—a calico barn cat whose meow was stuck in her throat. We had Al and Betsy for 14 years and losing them was heartbreaking.

So it took almost a year before we adopted Molly, a sweet grayish cat we’ve had for 12 years now. I read an article that said a single cat might become depressed, so a few months later we adopted Beau. That’s when Molly really became depressed! Unlike Al and Betsy who curled up together daily, these two cats barely tolerate one another, but both are wonderful companions.

I think we grieve the loss of our pets so deeply when they go because they are so much a part of our daily lives. They need us, and we need them. In fact, I can’t imagine my life without a clever, comforting, entertaining cat in it. One adage reads, “Every life has nine cats.” Husband beware. It looks like I’m only up to seven. Two more to go to secure my crazy cat lady status!

I give myself permission to love my pets as I do because they, too, are God’s creatures given to us to care for and enjoy. Psalm 36:6 says, O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. Psalm 150:6 reads, Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Our pets have breath. Dare we believe they also have souls and will greet us in heaven? Theologians may disagree, but I’ll just wait and see. Meanwhile, I’ll just love on the two I have. Or do they have me?

In the Company of Goats

July 18, 2016 by Nancy 10 Comments

I can’t think of a more exhilarating way to spend a warm summer’s day than in the company of goats. Until recently my only experience with a goat was as a child. For a while my family had a goat we unimaginatively named Billy. I think he was on loan from a larger farm as my father liked to expose my sisters and me to different animals. We thought Billy was entertaining and fun, but after he ate 12 blooms off my mother’s prized geranium plant, he was sent packing!

Recently I met many more goats when I took “The Goat Cheese Making Class” from The Goat Cheese Lady, Lindsey Aparicio, at her family’s farm in Penrose, CO (www.thegoatcheeselady.com). Not only did my three friends and I learn how to make three varieties of goat cheese, we used the milk we had milked from the goats that morning! We also learned all about the goats and the workings of the farm, then enjoyed a wonderful brunch that included the bread and goat cheese we made ourselves, the eggs we collected from the hens, and a fresh green salad. Gourmet chefs eat your hearts out. This simple, homemade repast was one of the best meals any of us ever had!

Memories of the day are all sprinkled with sun, laughter, and the gentle bleatings of goats of all sizes. Did I mention we got to help herd a bunch of young goats from their pen to an open pasture? Hilarious. Driving home I realized there is much to be learned by spending a day in the company of goats.

First, be willing to greet people you don’t know yet. The gentle calls of the goats when we first got out of our car began the relationships that became much more intimate when we learned to coax milk from their udders. I won’t say we became bosom buddies, but we sure got closer!

Second, know who to trust and then trust completely. When we were milking the goats, Lindsey cautiously held their back legs because our hands were strange to them and they might react and step in the milk. But when Lindsey or her son André were milking the goats, they totally relaxed. They knew who to trust.

Third, remember that giving and receiving are intrinsically connected. As the female goats willingly gave their life-giving milk they got sweet feed to munch. They also enjoyed the relief that came from being milked, as any lactating mom will attest. Giving and receiving. Both are blessings.

And lastly, if a gate opens, run through it! My friends and I were a bit tired at the end of the day. After all, herding goats wasn’t a normal daily activity for any of us. But we were so glad we had leapt at the opportunity. Just like those darling and daring baby goats.

Defying Description

June 28, 2016 by Nancy 24 Comments

Me in junior high with my prize-winning rabbit, Queenie. — Me in junior high with Queenie, my prize-winning rabbit.

Every time I open up Facebook I’m asked to do something I don’t seem to be able to do. In an attempt to update my profile, Facebook asks me to: Describe Who You Are.

You may think that would be easy to do, but then maybe you haven’t lived over six decades like I have. What is it, exactly, that they expect me to say to describe me? What are they hoping I’ll include? What categories of knowledge or personality traits? What accomplishments or failures? What labels that I’ve collected over the years, like so many stickers on an old suitcase, would satisfy this request?

I could have answered it easily in elementary school. I might have written, “I’m a little girl in Tennessee who loves to play barefooted in the summer and to ride her horse, Dolly, bareback.”

I could have answered it in junior high: “I’m a basketball player and I raise rabbits and show them at the state fair.”

I could have answered it in senior high: “I’m a cheerleader and editor of the yearbook. I like boys!”

Then it gets more complicated. In my twenties I could have written: “I’m a college graduate with degrees in journalism and English education, and the stay-at-home mother of two little boys. I’m an Army wife.”

In my thirties it would change to: “I’m a divorced mother of two boys and fulltime writer for a large corporation.”

In my forties I could have reported: “I’m a happily remarried mother of two, stepmother of two, and corporate manager spending long hours at the office.”

In my fifties I might have said: “I’m a freelance writer and published author and my grandkids call me Grancy.”

But what about now? How do I succinctly describe who I am in my sixties, and who at Facebook cares anyway? Are they going to write me back and say: “That doesn’t sound like you.” Or maybe, “Be more specific please.” I doubt it.

And so I leave the request unsatisfied still. If I wrote anything to sum up my life to this point, it would have to be: “I am a redeemed child of God. A daughter of the most high King. I am blessed beyond belief, and I am eternally grateful.” I guess I can live with that description today and forever—whether I share it with Facebook or not.

What about you? Have you fulfilled this Facebook request? How did you describe YOU?

Graduations and Weddings, Oh My!

May 10, 2016 by Nancy 18 Comments

May and June are traditionally the months when families gather for graduations and weddings, and never has this been truer for our family than this year! We have four graduations and a wedding within just a few weeks. As the plans begin to come together I’m reminded once again of the similarities between these two celebrations.

When a large family is involved, both graduations and weddings can be a logistical challenge. Who can come and who can’t? Where will everyone stay? What transportation is needed and who can provide it? And then the always unanswerable, but ever-present question: will the weather cooperate? What’s the backup plan for outdoor ceremonies or celebrations?

There are 21 people in our immediate blended family. Three granddaughters are graduating from high school this year—and one granddaughter is graduating from college and getting married! As all the flight and hotel reservations are being made, the gifts selected, and the parties planned, I keep seeing the faces of these four dear honorees—not as they are now, as proud graduate or beaming bride—but as they were as toddlers and little girls.

I was privileged to go with my granddaughter Amanda to try on her wedding dress for the first time. Seated in the “salon” area of the bridal shop while the assistant helped her into her dress in the fitting room, I wondered if I would cry when I first saw her. I knew I was supposed to cry. I’d seen that in the movies and commercials again and again. But what if I didn’t? She’d be disappointed, wouldn’t she?

Then she stepped into the room looking absolutely radiant–with the same excited smile on her face that I remembered from when she was four and twirling around in her latest “play dress up” outfit in our living room. The tears naturally flowed.

So what do all these honorees have in common? A sense of accomplishment. A bit of apprehension as they move into an unknown future. And hopefully parents and grandparents searching for a tissue during “Pomp & Circumstance” or “Here Comes the Bride”–and trying to remember how to switch their smart phones from still photos to video.

If we can give our graduates, brides, and grooms anything this season, may it be the reassurance that plans may change, dreams may take a different shape, blessings may come in disguise, but love is forever. The love of parents, grandparents, siblings and starry-eyed new spouses. It’s the love that makes the celebrations worth having. It’s the love that makes the memories.

In Memory of a Whole Life

April 11, 2016 by Nancy 20 Comments

Volunteering in an assisted living community means you go to a lot of memorial services and funerals. It’s not that you enjoy going, it’s just that you can’t stay away because your life was somehow enriched by the person who passed away, and you want to both honor and learn more about him or her.

That’s what drew me to an afternoon service for Penny, an assisted living resident who faithfully attended my weekly Bible study for over five years. I didn’t know her family so I just quietly entered and found a seat. Soon a very elderly couple, both with canes, made their way to my row and sat next to me. In almost whispered tones the woman and I struck up a conversation, and she told me that she and Penny had worked together in the Physics Department at the U.S. Air Force Academy for 20 years. I had no idea Penny had that sort of career.

What I did know of Penny was that whenever I found her lying on her bed watching TV or reading a book and I asked, “Do you want to come to Bible study?” she would say, “Sure!” and hop up to come with me. I knew that no matter what question I asked in class, her response would be the same: “I raised five kids, and I couldn’t have done it without Jesus.”

As people were gathering I noticed five well-dressed, attractive, middle-aged adults receiving hugs and condolences. Oh sure, I thought to myself, the five kids. My gaze turned to the table in front of the room where a few stunning photos of Penny in her younger years were displayed between bouquets of flowers. In the most prominent position was a glass of ice and a small bottle of wine. I was curious, but it wasn’t until Penny’s niece delivered the eulogy later in the service that I learned the significance of this unusual display.

Evidently white zinfandel over ice was Penny’s celebration drink of choice, and that was just the beginning of what I didn’t know about her! I didn’t know she was born and reared in El Paso, Texas, in a small house bursting with people and love. I didn’t know she’d survived a difficult marriage. (“He was a real louse,” my seatmate leaned over and whispered.) I didn’t know just how much she loved books and movies. And I certainly didn’t know that while living in Cripple Creek, CO, for a while she had commuted to her job in Colorado Springs in a big Cadillac with longhorns attached!

The service closed with a slideshow of images of Penny through the years. Oh my goodness—the meals she served, the people she hugged, the babies she rocked, the outfits she wore! I could see why her niece said of her, “She gave us all unconditional love before it was a term.” And, “She was a hippie before it was a thing!”

Toward the end of the collection of photos was a picture of Penny in a purple sweater. I knew that sweater. She had it with her in assisted living. Here’s where I came in, I thought, as I dabbed my eyes for the fourth or fifth time.

Walking to my car after the service, a favorite adage kept playing in my mind: Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. None of us wants to do that to an older person we meet, but circumstances can make it difficult to discover the whole person. When I got in the car I broke into sobs thinking, Penny, I barely knew you.

And so I bring you more of Penny’s story—because her whole life is worth remembering, not just the chapter I walked in on.

The Easter Cactus

March 23, 2016 by Nancy 14 Comments

My Christmas cactus is blooming for Easter this year! The botanical explanation may be that we moved to a new house and it’s reacting to different light exposure. But a more sacred reason comes to mind whenever I gaze its way.

How appropriate that a Christmas cactus would bloom at Easter to remind us that the two holy celebrations are intrinsically connected…inseparable in fact. For Christians, Christmas and Easter only exist because of Jesus Christ, the Son of God who dwelled among us. Had He not come to earth, we would have no resurrection to celebrate. Had He not given Himself to die on the cross, we would have no reason to acknowledge His arrival. Without Easter, Christmas is just a materialistic season of overspending and overeating. Without Christmas, Easter is just an extravagant brunch with a lot of candy and brightly colored eggs. One loses all meaning without the other.

Is there value in gathering together with friends and family over the Christmas season to exchange gifts and restore relationships? Of course there is. Is there value in rejoicing in the arrival of spring and celebrating all that’s fresh and new with fluffy chicks and rabbits? Of course there is.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to decorate for Christmas. I also love rabbits, and have decorative ones all over my house at Easter time. The danger is in letting all the trappings of either holiday obscure the message that can transform us not twice a year, but each day and forever.

Nowhere is that message more clearly stated than in God’s Word and by Jesus Himself. In John 3:16-17 Jesus taught, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

Always clear about His mission, Jesus comforted his grieving friend Martha by saying, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lies and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

He was sent in love. He died in love. He was resurrected and lives forever. And because He lives, so do those who believe in Him. It’s as simple as that. Jesus Christ always was and always will be. Christmas and Easter are merely the bookends of His sinless earthly life, but to celebrate one without the other makes no sense at all.

My Christmas cactus is so grateful for life that it just had to bloom this Easter! May the same be said of us. Have a joyful Easter—and look for opportunities to bloom!