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Nancy Parker Brummett

Nancy Parker Brummett

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Remembrance

A Letter to Mom

May 7, 2021 by Nancy 17 Comments

Dear MomLetter writing is a dying art form in our society. What better time to resurrect it than Mother’s Day, when we can sit down and write a letter to our moms? If like mine your mother has passed on beyond the reach of the U.S. Postal Service, you can still write her a letter addressed to heaven and reap the benefits of feeling connected to her once again.

For most of my adult life I lived far away from my mother, either out of the country or on opposite sides of it. So Mom would faithfully write me letters telling me of all the everyday happenings in our hometown. She’d include an overview of the weather, how the garden was coming in, what my sisters and their families had been up to, any major improvements in the area—just any tidbit of news that would draw me closer to the place and people I loved and left. Almost always she would close with, “Well, I’d better finish up to beat the postman.”

I wrote her letters in reply, telling her news of the faraway places I lived and keeping her up to date on travel adventures and the “growing up” antics of my two sons. In short, we were pen pals as well as mother and daughter, and both of us were blessed by the letters that connected our lives and hearts.Letters

It’s time to find some pretty stationery and write our moms again. But how can we make a letter to mom meaningful, whether she will read it or we’ll just deliver it in our hearts? One idea is to use the letters written by the Apostle Paul as our template.

Even though Paul sometimes wrote his letters from prison to churches he had visited, those in cities like Philippi, Corinth or Thessalonica eagerly awaited and shared the missives he sent. Why? Because Paul would most often begin with a warm greeting, add an expression of gratitude, offer a strong dose of encouragement (or admonition if needed), promote reconciliation and close with a message of hope.Phil 1
Students of the Bible pour over the epistles of Paul for all the instruction on living the Christian life still relevant today. Though we may not want to include all of Paul’s elements in letters to our moms, they are a great place to start. For instance, we could say something like I thank my God every time I remember you (Philippians 1:3). We could remind her that we love her and that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7). Or bless her by closing like Paul often did: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you (1 Thessalonians 5:28).

Because of God’s love moving in us we should all be able to address our mothers warmly and with respect despite any lingering relationship issues, express our gratitude to them, share some happy memories, and encourage them to keep the faith. Such a letter will be a treasured gift for a mom still with you, or a joyful remembrance of a mom loved and lost.

(First published in Pikes Peak Senior News.)

Filed Under: Back Porch Break Tagged With: Daughters, Letters, love, Mother's Day, Mothers, Penpals, Remembrance

In Memory of a Whole Life

April 11, 2016 by Nancy 20 Comments

DSC02794Volunteering in an assisted living community means you go to a lot of memorial services and funerals. It’s not that you enjoy going, it’s just that you can’t stay away because your life was somehow enriched by the person who passed away, and you want to both honor and learn more about him or her.

That’s what drew me to an afternoon service for Penny, an assisted living resident who faithfully attended my weekly Bible study for over five years. I didn’t know her family so I just quietly entered and found a seat. Soon a very elderly couple, both with canes, made their way to my row and sat next to me. In almost whispered tones the woman and I struck up a conversation, and she told me that she and Penny had worked together in the Physics Department at the U.S. Air Force Academy for 20 years. I had no idea Penny had that sort of career.

What I did know of Penny was that whenever I found her lying on her bed watching TV or reading a book and I asked, “Do you want to come to Bible study?” she would say, “Sure!” and hop up to come with me. I knew that no matter what question I asked in class, her response would be the same: “I raised five kids, and I couldn’t have done it without Jesus.”

As people were gathering I noticed five well-dressed, attractive, middle-aged adults receiving hugs and condolences. Oh sure, I thought to myself, the five kids. My gaze turned to the table in front of the room where a few stunning photos of Penny in her younger years were displayed between bouquets of flowers. In the most prominent position was a glass of ice and a small bottle of wine. I was curious, but it wasn’t until Penny’s niece delivered the eulogy later in the service that I learned the significance of this unusual display.

Evidently white zinfandel over ice was Penny’s celebration drink of choice, and that was just the beginning of what I didn’t know about her! I didn’t know she was born and reared in El Paso, Texas, in a small house bursting with people and love. I didn’t know she’d survived a difficult marriage. (“He was a real louse,” my seatmate leaned over and whispered.) I didn’t know just how much she loved books and movies. And I certainly didn’t know that while living in Cripple Creek, CO, for a while she had commuted to her job in Colorado Springs in a big Cadillac with longhorns attached!

The service closed with a slideshow of images of Penny through the years. Oh my goodness—the meals she served, the people she hugged, the babies she rocked, the outfits she wore! I could see why her niece said of her, “She gave us all unconditional love before it was a term.” And, “She was a hippie before it was a thing!”

Toward the end of the collection of photos was a picture of Penny in a purple sweater. I knew that sweater. She had it with her in assisted living. Here’s where I came in, I thought, as I dabbed my eyes for the fourth or fifth time.

Walking to my car after the service, a favorite adage kept playing in my mind: Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. None of us wants to do that to an older person we meet, but circumstances can make it difficult to discover the whole person. When I got in the car I broke into sobs thinking, Penny, I barely knew you.

And so I bring you more of Penny’s story—because her whole life is worth remembering, not just the chapter I walked in on.

Filed Under: Take My Hand Again Tagged With: assisted living, Bible Study, Life, Memorial, Remembrance, Whole

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