Back Porch Break

On Whitney Houston and True Love

March 15, 2012 by Nancy 2 Comments

My heart is aching over the loss of Whitney Houston and all those who aren’t able to fully embrace how loved they are. Instead they go looking for love in all the wrong places, often with disastrous results.

I guess what makes me both sad and hopeful about Whitney is that from the time she was a little girl she knew the love of God—the beautiful, unconditional love that will sustain us through anything. Even as an adult she comforted a concerned interviewer with the statement that she knew God loved her, and everything would be OK. This makes me sad because she knew the truth, and was led away from it anyway. It makes me hopeful because I believe that in the eternal sense, everything is OK with her. All is well with her soul.

So how did she manage to take her eyes off of the one true Source of love and fall into the trap of dependence on worthless substitutes? No one knows the whole story, but at least one telling chapter is her relationship with Bobby Brown. Like so many women before her, and I fear so many yet to come, it seems she was attracted to the bad boy in him and joined in the destructive habits he brought to the relationship. Smart women, dumb choices. We see it again and again, and it’s never pretty.

If only she could have stayed true to her “first love,” the God who created her and blessed her with a world-class talent. A dear friend recently loaned me the book The Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. In it, this well-loved Catholic priest and well-read author writes a letter to a young Jewish friend who asks him to share what it means to have a spiritual life in a secular world.

“First of all, you have to keep unmasking the world about you for what it is: manipulative, controlling, power-hungry, and, in the long run, destructive,” Nouwen writes. “The world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: ‘These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace.’”

Evidently, Whitney Houston allowed the destructive forces of this world to temporarily win. But one of the most powerful songs she sang, “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton, ironically tells the rest of the story. We can take comfort in knowing that because God said that to her, she now adds her amazing voice to heaven’s chorus of praise. The greatest love—the one true love—is hers at last.

The Crazy Cat Lady

March 15, 2012 by Nancy Leave a Comment

Do you ever read an account of some bizarre bit of human behavior in the newspaper and, while everyone around you is bemused, think to yourself, “That could be me?” I had that experience recently when I read an account of a 95-year-old woman found passed out in her front yard. When the first responders went into her house, they found 40 cats.

Lately I’ve become more aware of the thin line between being “a lady who likes cats” and “a crazy cat lady,” and I have to tell you, it’s getting thinner. I wasn’t always so attracted to cats. We owned and loved two Golden Retrievers and I remain to this day a “big dog person.” When a cat entered a room, I would instinctively put my hand to my throat, because I was sure it was just looking for an opportunity to go for my jugular vein. After all, they looked like miniature tigers. How could you trust them? All I can tell you is that, as with most biases, knowledge dispelled my fear and increased my understanding and appreciation. And getting to know one cat invalidated the generalizations I had accepted about all of them.

So how many cats would I like to have you (and my husband!) might ask. That’s hard to say. After having at least one cat around for the last two dozen years, I’ve learned to truly appreciate their unique personalities. At the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region all the cats available for adoption are categorized according to one of nine “feline-alities.” (I think they should have called them purr-sonalities.) For example, our cat Molly clearly fits into the Personal Assistant category. If anyone is wrapping a gift, working on taxes, or flipping through a cookbook to come up with something for dinner, she’s right there to lend a paw. Our cat Beau, however, would be classified as the Leader of the Band, a cat who does everything in a big way. Although he does love to cuddle, he’s especially big into adventure and couldn’t care less what we are doing unless he sees one of us go outside. Then he waits right by the door for us to open it again in hopes of blowing this boring baby boomer abode for some real excitement!

So you see, that leaves seven cat purr-sonalities I’m missing! What about the Private Investigator, the Secret Admirer, the Love Bug, the Sidekick, etc.? By my calculations, I only need to add 1.2 cats per year to reach 40 by the time I’m 95. That doesn’t seem excessive, does it? (Although I’m not sure what one feeds a partial cat.)

Actually, just writing this has been therapeutic. And there is one really good reason I’ll just continue to enjoy Molly and Beau and won’t go over into the “crazy cat lady” lifestyle. You see, I have a pretty good idea why that woman (who was fine, by the way) was passed out in her front yard. It was the smell of 40 litter boxes.

Beating the Mid-Winter Blues

March 15, 2012 by Nancy Leave a Comment

It’s week two of a hacking cough and the wind is howling outside just to see if it can make more noise than I can. This is the time of year when those cruise commercials to places in the Caribbean begin to look very inviting, but alas, that’s not always an option.

I wish I could be as patient about winter as my cat, Molly. She does meow at the deck door on a regular basis just because she wants to check and see if the 85 degree temperatures have magically returned. But when I slide open the door just a bit and she sees the snow and feels the wind on her face, she shakes one paw, then another, and then quickly turns to go look for the first sunbeam she can find streaming into the house. This time of year I should just follow her from room to room as she seeks out the sun. Even if I have to curl up on the floor to get my dose of Vitamin D!

But I know, much to Molly’s delight and mine, spring will return in time. Even now the Master of all seasons is crafting hyacinths and crocuses under the snow, and soon we will be able to proclaim with Solomon, “The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come” (Song of Songs 2:12).

Until that day arrives, there are things we can do to give birth to spring in our hearts! Even a stroll through the grocery store can provide some mid-winter relief. Today I spent an extra long time in the floral department looking at all the orchids and other exotic blooming plants—easier than going to the botanic garden! I chose a small one for our kitchen table.

In the magazine aisle I noticed spring issues are already on the stands. As I walked by I heard one woman pointing out a spread on “springtime in Ireland” to her husband. “Want to go there?” she asked. “I think we just did,” he prudently replied.

The photo on my screensaver is of the last beach we visited, so when I need a break I just stare at the sand, the sea, and the gulls and try to transport myself back to that spot. Looking through gardening and bulb catalogs and imagining all those flowers blooming in my gardens provides similar relief.

A good dose of color can do much to elevate our winter moods, too. Beat the blues by dressing in bright colors instead of the dour grays and browns we tend to wear because they suit the mood we’re in…not the one we desire!

And keep the faith—spring will be here before we know it!