Encouragement

Each new year brings with it the urge to clear our closets and our lives of the clutter we’ve collected. We want to clean out the old and make way for the new! The new year is also the time for categorizing our habits and deciding which ones to toss out and which ones to carry forward. One I hope we all consider keeping is the habit of encouraging others.

The Greek word for encouragement is “parakaleo,” which means to call a person to your side in order to aid, assist, counsel, console, comfort, exhort and strengthen. It is a word that accurately describes the role of the Holy Spirit and the way the Spirit works through believers to reach others. Webster’s dictionary defines encourage, “to inspire, to renew or give hope.” And while those without a life of faith can be wonderful encouragers, of course, no one can encourage more effectively than the believer filled with the Spirit.

When we make sharing encouraging words a habit, it’s easier to always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have (I Peter 3:15 NIV). What kinds of words can we use to encourage others? Words that heal, words that help, and words from the heart.

Every time you listen to a friend’s grief over a marriage that is failing, the loss of a spouse, or a child that is sick you have a chance to encourage the oppressed (Isaiah 1:17) with words that heal. Just saying “I’m sorry” can penetrate the despair your friend is feeling. So can the words “I love you,” spoken over and over, and “I’ll always be here for you.” Words that heal.

Speaking words that help may be a habit that you aren’t even aware you have. When you offer to clean house for a sick neighbor, cook a meal, pick up the kids or baby sit, you are offering words that help. Let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching we read in Hebrews 10:25. You do that when you offer words that help make life easier for others.

The most encouraging words of all are words spoken from the heart. Those words the Spirit leads you to spontaneously share with people you know, and even with strangers.

Speaker and author Sandra Aldrich tells a wonderful story about some encouraging words she received when she was faced with adapting to single parenthood after her husband’s death. Still grieving for her husband, she decided to take a trip with her two children to give them all a diversion. But it didn’t go well. Her son was always running off, and her daughter shadowed her so closely she almost tripped over her at every turn. Finally getting her son in tow, she was standing in line with both kids at a restaurant wondering how she was ever going to manage as a single mother.

Just then an elderly, Spanish-speaking woman who had been observing Sandra and her children for awhile passed by them. Reaching out, she patted Sandra on the arm and in her halting English said, “You good mamma.” That’s all she said. “You good mamma.” And then she was gone.

Those few words of encouragement, spoken from the heart of one mother to another, sustained Sandra through her years of single parenthood and made such an impression on her that she included the story in a speech many years later.

Words that heal, words that help, and words from the heart. Sharing them with others is a habit worthy of the new year.

“I can handle anything,” the T-shirt slogan reads. “I’m a mother.”

Certainly it often seems as if mothers can handle anything. Who else can talk on the phone while making the kids’ lunches, feeding the dog, and checking the newspaper for coupons? Moms who work outside of the home do all that before leaving for work in the morning—not to mention getting the kids out the door, picking up the house, and setting the pork chops out to thaw.

Is it any wonder mothers need encouragement? Even the most competent of mothers has moments in the middle of the night, or when she’s racing to pick up a sick child at school, when she thinks, “I just don’t know if I can do this any longer.” The truth is, she has to. No one can replace a mother.

One thing I’ve realized as my own kids have grown up and married is that while the role of mothering changes with time, a mother is a mother until the day she dies. Women in different stages of mothering need our encouragement in different ways.

More than anything else, the young mom at home with toddlers needs a sanity break. The most encouraging thing we can do for her is to give her time to restore herself emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Movie tickets, a gift certificate to a beauty salon, or just a coupon for “two hours all to yourself” are extremely encouraging as long as any offer we make is accompanied by babysitting arrangements. If you stay with the kids, when the mom comes back tell her all the ways you observe that she is positively molding the lives of her little charges.

The mother of a teenager may need more encouragement than anyone. One day everything is going great and she’s just sure her teen is going to change the world for the better. The next day a phone call comes, or a discussion explodes, and things look bleak at best, impossible at worst. The most effective encouragement for these moms often comes from mothers who have been through the teen years and seen their kids emerge on the other side stable and whole. (They really DO grow through the angst of being a teenager. And they really will tell you that they love you again!) If you know a mom struggling with a teenager now, write a note or call to say “hang in there” in an encouraging way.

Those blessed to still have moms in their seventies, eighties, and beyond know that these moms deserve and need our encouragement, too. They need to hear that they did a good job of rearing their children, and that they are doing a good job of leaving a legacy of love to their families. If we believe this to be true, we must never miss an opportunity to tell them so.

My mother was always encouraged when someone outside the family said something complimentary about one of her three grown girls. If you are acquainted with the mother of a friend, consider writing her a note and letting her know how much of her you see in the friend you love—or just thank her for rearing such a wonderful daughter.

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children,” wrote William Makepeace Thackeray. Every mother knows that it’s only by God’s grace, and with His help, that she is worthy of the name and able to “handle anything.” Let’s give the moms we know and love His encouragement through us. Happy Mother’s Day!

An Encouraging Word

Encouraging Moms of All Ages