Take My Hand Again

Retired & Inspired

April 27, 2017 by Nancy 22 Comments

No matter how many articles I read saying Baby Boomers can’t or won’t retire, it seems quite a few of us are! Friends and acquaintances seem to be canceling their commutes, rolling over their 401Ks, and wearing more comfortable shoes at a fairly regular pace. Baby Boomers are retiring, but we’re doing it with a bit more inspiration, and a lot more activity, than past generations.

The Boomers probably haven’t held one job through out their careers but several, with a few entrepreneurial adventures (like giving up a good-paying job to be a freelance writer!) along the way. We still appreciate the classic retirement stories, however.

Driving down a street in Colorado Springs I was captivated by this sign in the window of a shuttered barber shop: “Sorry, the Barber Shop is CLOSED. After 54 years, I have retired. To all my customers, THANK YOU!” It was simply signed, “Benny.”

I never met Benny, don’t know him at all, but I’m so proud of him and wish him well. Can you imagine the number of lives he touched in 54 years of working as a barber? How many military haircuts did he give to brave, young soldiers? How many teenage suiters did he make presentable for their proms? How many businessmen felt more confident after a little time spent with Benny? Think of how the topics of conversation, the political debates, and even the jokes would have changed over 54 years. A lot of life was lived out in that small shop. And the world was improved one head of hair at a time. Job well done, Benny!

Mary and her husband Bob at Flying Horse.

Another retirement story caught my eye, this time the work span was 57 years. The Associated Press reported that a man named Mel, living in Gloversville, NY, delivered newspapers for The Leader-Herald. He delivered 220 to 300 newspapers a day, seven days a week, for 57 consecutive years before retiring at age 87. That’s more than five million papers! I think we can also say to Mel, job well done.

I don’t know how Benny and Mel plan to spend their retirement years, but for the Boomers there may not be a rocking chair in sight. This spring both my sister and my husband are entering into stages of retirement. My sister Mary left the residential construction company she founded and managed for almost 30 years. Whenever she wants to revisit her work life, all she has to do is drive around Knoxville, TN, and admire the many beautiful custom homes she built. She’s still waiting to see what her retirement will look like, but I’m sure it will include service to others, grandkids, and golf.

And then there’s my husband, Jim, who hits a milestone birthday on April 30 and simultan- eously retires from a significant portion of the business he has built over 33 years of self-employment. He will still continue with another segment of his business, and will maintain an office routine (whew!), but I’m excited to see what more free time will bring. I hope his semi-retirement includes more travel, more golf, and more personal ministry. Having watched him “self-motivate” day after day, with no boss to prod him nor employees to support him, I stand amazed and proud of him for the wonderful living he has made for us. My admiration, gratitude, and love overflow.

And me? Well, here’s the thing. When you are a writer, that’s just what you are, not your job. Someday I may be a little old lady scratching out poems on napkins in coffee shops, but I’m pretty sure I’ll always be writing something. It’s a good life. And now it’s one that affords me plenty of time to embrace anything else life has to offer. God willing, I’ll just join in with the other Boomers who are retired and inspired, but far from expired!

Picking up the Pace

January 5, 2017 by Nancy 15 Comments

"Green and Orange" (1958) by Carmen Herrera. — “Green and Orange” (1958) by Carmen Herrera.

Another year, another approaching birthday. This one had me thinking maybe it was time to consider the “R” word: retirement. Maybe I’ve already used up all the words I have to share, published all the books I need to publish, I thought…but all that was before I saw this segment on the artist Carmen Herrera on CBS This Morning.

Born in Cuba in 1915, Ms. Herrera is 101. A large body of her work was created in the late 40’s and 50’s and as one art critic exclaimed she has been “hiding in plain sight” since then. She sold her first painting at the age of 89. (Twenty years older than I will be this year!) Her current exhibit at The Whitney Museum in New York closes January 9. She recently sold a painting for $970,000 to a telephone bidder, and she still gets up every day and draws and paints in her New York studio.

“If you wait for the bus, the bus will come,” Ms. Herrera said in the interview. “I waited almost a century for the bus to come, and it came!”

Exhibit:"Carmen Herrera: Lines of Sight," Whitney Museum of American Art. — Exhibit “Carmen Herrera: Lines of Sight,” Whitney Museum of American Art.

So where does that leave me? Sitting at the bus stop, of course. Waiting expectantly. Thinking about my next assignment, my next project, my next marketing opportunity. My writer friends and colleagues have already started posting their “one word” themes for 2017. After the story about Carmen Herrera settled in for a few days, my word descended upon me while I was out running errands: accelerate. Not slow down, not give up, not rest on any laurels I could piece together, but accelerate—just like any marathon runner or ski racer would do with the finish line in sight. Pick up the pace. Put one foot in front of the other. Link one word to the next. Run the race to the end.

"Iberic" (1949) by Carmen Herrera. — “Iberic” (1949) by Carmen Herrera.

In the Bible I call my “real” Bible, because it’s the one with so many under linings and margin notes that I can no longer use it when selecting Scriptures to quote because I can’t see the commas and periods, I have written “my life verse” next to Philippians 3:13-14. It goes like this: But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I know that the prize of which Paul is speaking is an award of everlasting glory. That is mine to claim already because of my faith in Jesus Christ. But what am I to do between now and then? It seems clear to me now. I’m to be like Carmen Herrera. To get up every day and allow God’s creativity to flow through me in any way He chooses. Right up until the last.

So if you see me sitting at the bus stop this year, resting briefly, please honk and wave! I can use the encouragement.

Embracing Change

November 4, 2016 by Nancy 7 Comments

We had an unusually warm and snow-less October here in Colorado, but we know a change—it is a coming! And it may happen suddenly. For now we bask in the golden hue the sunlight casts this time of year. We may grab a sweater when we leave the house, just in case, but we may leave in sandals, too!

Once the cold and snow come, those of us having fallen in love with the balmier days of fall may find the change catches us a bit by surprise. But then change always does, doesn’t it?

The dear older people I meet with in The Hope of Glory Bible study have taught me so much about change. The longer we live the more change we have to accept. Dealing with the monumental changes most of them have seen—the loss of a family home, a spouse, or a child—is never easy. Change changes us, there’s no doubt about it. But what I’ve observed in them is that change can also bring us closer to God, even if it’s a change we never would have chosen.

Our changing world and the discouraging political situation in which we find our country don’t go unnoticed or undiscussed in these groups of elders. But eventually one of them will say, “Whatever happens, God is in control.” That settles the discussion and we go on to more productive topics.

Change is inevitable, but it isn’t to be feared when we realize that all change—including whatever happens in the upcoming election—is orchestrated by the God who loves us. Wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons… (Daniel 2:20-21). And regardless of how we respond to the changes around us, it is the change within us that He values most. Having sent the Holy Spirit to indwell us, He daily works to change our hearts to be more forgiving, more trusting, and more like His own.

Whatever changes the coming season brings, we can rest in the knowledge that God does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17). The sun may disappear a bit earlier each evening, but God is still in control of its rising and setting, and by His hand He changes all things according to His will.

In Memory of a Whole Life

April 11, 2016 by Nancy 20 Comments

Volunteering in an assisted living community means you go to a lot of memorial services and funerals. It’s not that you enjoy going, it’s just that you can’t stay away because your life was somehow enriched by the person who passed away, and you want to both honor and learn more about him or her.

That’s what drew me to an afternoon service for Penny, an assisted living resident who faithfully attended my weekly Bible study for over five years. I didn’t know her family so I just quietly entered and found a seat. Soon a very elderly couple, both with canes, made their way to my row and sat next to me. In almost whispered tones the woman and I struck up a conversation, and she told me that she and Penny had worked together in the Physics Department at the U.S. Air Force Academy for 20 years. I had no idea Penny had that sort of career.

What I did know of Penny was that whenever I found her lying on her bed watching TV or reading a book and I asked, “Do you want to come to Bible study?” she would say, “Sure!” and hop up to come with me. I knew that no matter what question I asked in class, her response would be the same: “I raised five kids, and I couldn’t have done it without Jesus.”

As people were gathering I noticed five well-dressed, attractive, middle-aged adults receiving hugs and condolences. Oh sure, I thought to myself, the five kids. My gaze turned to the table in front of the room where a few stunning photos of Penny in her younger years were displayed between bouquets of flowers. In the most prominent position was a glass of ice and a small bottle of wine. I was curious, but it wasn’t until Penny’s niece delivered the eulogy later in the service that I learned the significance of this unusual display.

Evidently white zinfandel over ice was Penny’s celebration drink of choice, and that was just the beginning of what I didn’t know about her! I didn’t know she was born and reared in El Paso, Texas, in a small house bursting with people and love. I didn’t know she’d survived a difficult marriage. (“He was a real louse,” my seatmate leaned over and whispered.) I didn’t know just how much she loved books and movies. And I certainly didn’t know that while living in Cripple Creek, CO, for a while she had commuted to her job in Colorado Springs in a big Cadillac with longhorns attached!

The service closed with a slideshow of images of Penny through the years. Oh my goodness—the meals she served, the people she hugged, the babies she rocked, the outfits she wore! I could see why her niece said of her, “She gave us all unconditional love before it was a term.” And, “She was a hippie before it was a thing!”

Toward the end of the collection of photos was a picture of Penny in a purple sweater. I knew that sweater. She had it with her in assisted living. Here’s where I came in, I thought, as I dabbed my eyes for the fourth or fifth time.

Walking to my car after the service, a favorite adage kept playing in my mind: Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. None of us wants to do that to an older person we meet, but circumstances can make it difficult to discover the whole person. When I got in the car I broke into sobs thinking, Penny, I barely knew you.

And so I bring you more of Penny’s story—because her whole life is worth remembering, not just the chapter I walked in on.

Valuable Resources on Aging

November 17, 2015 by Nancy 3 Comments

Enhancing the lives of older adults and those who care for them.

Dear friends, I honestly don’t expect to become rich and famous from these two books, but I know from feedback I’ve gotten from those who have used them that they meet definite needs. Therefore I’m trying to do everything I can to get the word out about their availability. If you know anyone caring for an older adult, or working in eldercare or care giving, please share this blog post with them. Thanks so very much.

THE HOPE OF GLORY is a devotional guide for older adults that brings a message of eternal hope as it reminds seniors who they are in God’s eyes: not old and useless, but men and women created in His image who still have a life to live and a story to tell. The 57 time-tested, interactive devotions (5 are for special holidays) are designed for:
» Seniors 65 and over.
» Group classes in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Communities, Senior Centers, and Church Sunday Schools.
» Meaningful one-to-one visits with older adults.

Published by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas, 2014. 294 pages. Winner of an Illumination Book Award for Excellence in Christian Publishing. Available in print or electronic form from Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com.

TAKE MY HAND AGAIN is a faith-based guide for helping aging parents. The change in roles when adult children must begin caring for their aging parents is confusing and daunting. Those who wish they had a good friend or neighbor who traveled this path before them will find this companion guide especially helpful. Take My Hand Again includes an overview of common care options and questions to ask—of professionals, of prospective care facilities, and of the aging adults themselves. Readers will find much-needed hope and encouragement from real-life stories sprinkled with humor and relevant Scripture that give valuable insight into the challenges of the aging process. This book provides practical help for every step of the caregiving journey. Assisted living facilities find it helpful to give a copy to each family that comes to them for help.

Published by Kregel Publications, 2015. 224 pages. Available in bookstores or online at Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nancy Parker Brummett is the author of six books. Her writing and speaking ministries now focus on older adults and those who care for them. Nancy journeyed with her mother and mother-in-law through their adventures in aging and holds a professional certificate in gerontology. The Hope of Glory is a collection of lessons she wrote while volunteering to lead a devotional hour in assisted living. Take My Hand Again is based on her personal experiences, interviews with others in caregiving roles, and relevant research. For more information on Nancy’s life and work, or to schedule her to speak, visit her website at www.nancyparkerbrummett.com or find her on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Feeling Invisible

October 13, 2015 by Nancy 20 Comments

A common comment coming from the lips of aging adults with enough boldness to speak the truth is, “I feel invisible.” In her book Voices of Aging, author Missy Buchanan presents perspectives on several key topics from the point of view of the adult child and the aging parent. One elder said, “Sometimes I feel obsolete. Unnecessary. Irrelevant. Like a carton of milk whose expiration date is long past.” Another aging parent said, “I remember sitting in my room while my children talked about me as if I weren’t even there.”

No one should feel so invisible. If we take the time to look into the eyes of older people, and truly listen to what they say, it’s possible to see both who they were, and who they still are.

“Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on,” reads a poignant anonymous quote. But isn’t that what we do? If we meet someone for the first time at the end of their lives, don’t we too often forget that this is simply one chapter? Would we want those who meet us later in life to make that same error in judgment?

This week I will add another assisted living Bible study class to my schedule. I sought a location close to our new home so it will be easy for me to visit there during inclement weather. I felt the Lord leading me to the place I selected, but when I met with the activities director there I learned that 90% of the residents have dementia. Will they still have moments of clarity when they can hear the truth of the gospel presented in the lessons in The Hope of Glory? Will the old hymns stimulate their long-term memories and put a smile on their faces? I pray so. But if not, the homemade cookies and hugs I offer will have to be enough of a reason to show up.

Most important, as I look forward to meeting these dear old souls, I pray I’ll be able to see who they were at a younger age, and who they authentically are today. I want to know about the earlier chapters of their no doubt fascinating lives, and appreciate the totality of the lives they have lived. I don’t want them to say, like another older person in Buchanan’s book, “My life is a library filled with books that no one reads anymore—books of adventure and romance, advice and how-tos.” As I get to know them, I hope to explore all the volumes of their lives.

Even people in their sixties, those categorized as “young seniors” but on the far side of “prime,” can feel invisible at times. Meeting the residents in the patio home community to which we moved this past summer, I sometimes think quietly to myself, “I sure wish I’d known you sooner.” And I wouldn’t be surprised if those who met me for the first time thought the same thing.

Recently we had a social gathering in our community and as I met each 60-plus person I couldn’t help but surmise: He must have been an effective CEO before he retired. She was obviously a beauty queen or a cheerleader. He was probably an excellent athlete earlier. She has no doubt been a patron of the arts her whole life. That couple must have always been partiers! Seeing them as they are now provided me with plenty of clues to the earlier chapters in their lives, and I’m looking forward to getting to know more about each person here. None will be invisible to me.

From the youngest to the oldest, we can all feel invisible at times. Yet we are never invisible in God’s eyes. He always sees us as we are and wherever we are, and only He sees who we ultimately will be when all the trappings of this earth fall away. Invisible? Not on His watch.