Thanksgiving

The Art of Thankful Giving

November 9, 2017 by Nancy 10 Comments

As Thanksgiving arrives this year our gratitude for what we have seems to run deeper than ever before, doesn’t it? As we look at all the blessings God has placed in our hands, we come to the realization that thanks giving may not be enough. It is rather “thankful giving” that best expresses our gratitude.

I hope to carry this attitude of thankful giving beyond Thanksgiving all the way through the Christmas season this year. While our shopping and wrapping may be scaled down as we focus even more on what matters most, I’m still extremely grateful to have the means to give something to others—and to have others to receive what I give.

Billy Graham said, “God has given us two hands—one to receive with and the other to give with. We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing.”

The realization that He has chosen us to be such channels of giving is sometimes humbling and heartrending. One Christmas season my two oldest granddaughters saw princess outfits they loved at a store at the mall. The frilly dresses were ridiculously overpriced, but being the indulgent grandmother I can sometimes be, I went back a few days later and purchased both.

As I was writing out my check the tears started to well up in my eyes. By the time I grabbed my bulky package and left the store they were freely flowing. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was able to buy gifts for my granddaughters when I knew there were many grandmothers who weren’t able to do the same.

A friend of mine is haunted by a news report she saw. A grandmother in Afghanistan was lying on a dirt floor, too weak to get up and tend to her six grandchildren who sat on the floor around her—their parents unaccounted for. Only God can reconcile the disparity between that woman and those of us who will be able to purchase and wrap gifts for our children and grandchildren for Christmas this year. Certainly the love in her heart is no weaker than that in ours.

“Freely you have received; freely give,” Jesus said (Matthew 10:8 NIV). It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, and sharing what we have received with those we love may be the greatest form of gratitude. This year let’s make an attitude of thankful giving the invisible “add-on” to every package we wrap.

Feeling Grape-ful

November 17, 2016 by Nancy 16 Comments

Even when grapes aren’t on my grocery list it seems I always come home from the store with some. I can’t resist those beautiful green or red orbs, now usually packaged in easy-to-grab cellophane bags.

And is there any other fruit more…well, fruitful? Grapes are not only a delicious, nutritious snack for school kids and dieters, they are used to make jam, jelly, juice, raisins, vinegar, grape seed oil and, of course—wine! In fact, 71% of all grapes grown are used to make wine, and the United States is fifth in in the world in grape production, behind Spain, France, Italy and Turkey. (If you somehow missed seeing the episode of “I Love Lucy” where Lucy visits a winery in Italy and learns to stomp grapes, find it on YouTube. It’s always good for a laugh!)

In this season of nostalgia and gratitude, however, I’ve discovered yet another purpose for grapes. No doubt you, like me, have friends and acquaintances going through difficult times this season—or maybe the person suffering is you. Two people I know have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. A wonderful couple in our community lost a son to addiction in spite of every effort to save him. Natural and manmade disasters fill evening news reports and newspapers.

In light of all this, I want to be more aware of the blessings I have been given—and to focus anew not on what I don’t have, but on what I do. This is where the grapes come in. While sitting quietly with a small bowl of grapes next to my favorite reading chair, I decided to let each grape I plucked from the bunch represent a blessing that came my way this year. Taste and see that the Lord is good…we read in Psalm 34:8. Oh how His goodness became apparent to me as I acknowledged one blessing after another…all while enjoying the fruit of the vine.

On every bunch of grapes there will be a few vacant stems. Maybe a bird ate that grape or it was sorted out of the bunch for some reason. I let the empty stems represent blessings that didn’t come my way, but went to someone else instead. Maybe to one of the people that I know is hurting. And so I was even grateful for the missing grapes.

Grapes nourish us, but then so does gratitude. It’s said a grateful heart is in itself a prayer. I hope you can join me in being grape-ful this season. Taste and see!

This blog post first appeared as a column in The Country Register, Nov-Dec 2016.

Holiday Transitions

November 24, 2015 by Nancy 15 Comments

As the leftover items from our yard sale were loaded into a big truck to be donated to a worthwhile charity this past summer, it wasn’t seeing doll furniture or well-loved dishes disappearing through the big open doors on the side of the truck that made me cry. It was the big straw turkey that had been a part of our Thanksgiving decorations for many years. He seemed to be looking at me saying, “What did I do? Didn’t I faithfully sit on your front porch through all kinds of weather? And I have to tell you, that pumpkin rotting next to me didn’t smell so good either!”

But he had to go because we were “downsizing.” Not only did I think there wouldn’t be a spot for him on our new front porch, I didn’t think we would want to store him the other 11 months of the year. Bye-bye turkey.

That’s just one of the holiday tradition transitions that we’ll be experiencing this year. With every move the question is always asked: Where will we put the Christmas tree in this new house? After a move like ours, the question will more likely be: Do we still have a tree? If so, where is it? And did we keep those dangling icicle lights or did we toss them?

Changes in holiday traditions can be unsettling. There’s comfort in knowing the fall leaves, pumpkins and gourds always go on the mantel at Thanksgiving, and the nativity set is always set up on the buffet in the dining room for Christmas. But what if you move to a home without a mantel? What if you sold the buffet at auction and got a pitiful amount for it? (Sorry, touchy subject there.)

I know I’ll enjoy decorating our new, smaller home for the holidays this year, and I will appreciate our decorations even more because they survived the move. Due to sentimental attachment or simple oversight, whatever we have now wasn’t culled, so decorating will be like introducing old friends to our new home. I’ll try to focus not on what has changed, but on what will never change.

Gone is the big oak dining table with three leaves that expanded to ten feet long. Yet no matter who sits around our smaller Thanksgiving table this year, we’ll still have warm memories of all the faces who’ve been around our table in years past. We’ll still get a lump in our throats when each person shares what he or she is most grateful for this year, and we’ll still praise God and thank Him for all the blessings He bestows on us day after day—including the opportunity to downsize.

When Christmas rolls around our cat, Molly, will still take up residence under the tree. We’ll still have the crèches and tree ornaments that remind us of the reason for the season: For to us a child is born, to us a son is given…And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). My husband will still say that “Mary, Did You Know?” is his favorite Christmas song, and singing “Silent Night” by candlelight on Christmas Eve will still bring tears to my eyes. Yes, there will be changes and transitions this holiday season, but the people we love will seem even dearer, and the God we serve will still be sovereign over all. The best things in life transition well.

The Thanksgiving Table

November 25, 2014 by Nancy 18 Comments

I saw her coming down the hall as I was setting up for The Hope of Glory class in assisted living. Her feet were well padded with several pairs of socks, making it possible for her to propel her wheelchair slowly along using one foot at a time.

“Nellie!” I called out. “Are you coming to Bible study? Would you like me to push you?” She answered yes to both questions and then lifted her feet straight in front of her to expedite our journey into the activities room where I wheeled her to the end of the table.

On the table was a multi-colored fall tablecloth. It was one I’d taken home to wash after an event at church, only I’d forgotten to take it in on Sunday, so it was still in the backseat of my car. I saw it when I reached for my book and plate of cookies for class. At the last second I grabbed the tablecloth also, thinking it might brighten someone’s day. Little did I know how much.

During class, I noticed how fascinated Nellie was with the tablecloth. “Oh look,” she said, pointing with her gnarled finger to specific places in the design. “There are apples and grapes on here. I could make apple juice with apples like that—and grape juice with those grapes, too!”

Our lesson was titled Attitude of Gratitude: How it’s important for us, as we age, to replace any grumbling with gratitude for the gift of living a long and productive life. We looked at key Scriptures on thankfulness, including how we are to give thanks in all circumstances as we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:18—not necessarily for all circumstances but in all circumstances. And we talked about how remembering what the Lord has done for us in the past can help us be more grateful in the present. But I’m not sure Nellie was listening.

I noticed her place both hands on the tablecloth, palms down, and begin smoothing out the wrinkles, just as women have done for generations when setting a Thanksgiving table. What is she thinking about, I wondered. Is she remembering Thanksgivings when she set a beautiful table in her home for her husband and children, or when she helped her grandmother smooth out her best linen tablecloth for a family Thanksgiving on the farm?

Nellie picked up one edge of the cloth and slowly ran her fingers along the hem to the corner. I wondered how many tablecloths she had laundered and folded in her lifetime.

I felt so blessed after class. We don’t have family coming home for Thanksgiving this year, so I won’t be setting a fancy table or stuffing a turkey. I’m fine with going out for a change, but seeing Nellie’s reaction to that tablecloth brought back a flood of treasured memories. I remembered my mother’s Thanksgiving table with mums in the turkey centerpiece, and all the tables I set for our family over the years.

Are you setting a table this year? If so, get out your best tablecloth. Smooth out the wrinkles with both hands. During dinner, record the faces gathered ‘round the table in your heart. We can’t always be with the people we’d like to be with on Thanksgiving due to weather, distance, resources, even death or divorce. But we can be grateful for those who are around the table with us, and be fully present for them.

At the end of class today, when I asked Nellie if she had any prayer requests to add to our list, she looked up at me and smiled. After a moment’s pause, she said, “Just for everyone to be happy.” Me, too, Nellie. Me too. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thankful Living

November 27, 2013 by Nancy 18 Comments

When I am a very old woman, I want to be like some of the older women I know. Women who have a perpetual twinkle in their eyes. Women who draw everyone closer to learn the secret to their joy—the secret to their thankful living.

It occurs to me that since we tend to become more of who we truly are as we age, that it’s not too soon for me to practice thankful living: not too soon to turn grumbling into gratitude. I’ve observed that with the perspective of age thankful living has a deeper, broader definition. In years past grandmas and grandpas like us may have found it hard to be grateful if they couldn’t be physically with their kids and grandkids on Thanksgiving. With age, we understand that the real blessing is that these loved ones are in the world, are living the lives ordained for them to live, and that we have them to love. We give thanks.

My husband and I were once having breakfast at a restaurant during the holidays when we struck up a conversation with our waitress. She shared that she was indeed “having a good day” because she was excited about leaving to visit her grandchildren the next day.

“How old are they?” I asked.

“They are eight and six,” the waitress replied.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen them?”

“Oh, I’ve never seen them!” she answered.

I could barely swallow the rest of my breakfast as I realized how blessed we were. Not only did we have 12 grandchildren in our blended family, but we were able to snuggle each one as an infant—and have celebrated many birthdays, milestones, and holidays with various combinations of them over the years. Truly, we are blessed.

So how can we make our remaining days full of gratitude rather than grumbling? How can we engage in thankful living—the lifestyle of thanksgiving that brings a twinkle to our eyes? We might begin like the author Ann Voscamp. When Ann first accepted the challenge to list 1,000 blessings in her life, she had no idea the list would become the best-selling book One Thousand Gifts—or that it would lead to an international ministry. She simply developed the habit of noticing the smallest of blessings: jam piled high on toast, mail in the mailbox, the blue jay singing from the top of the spruce tree. We can do that. What great things will God do with our expressions of gratitude?

When I am a very old lady, I know what the secret will be that puts a twinkle in my eye—but I don’t want it to be a secret at all. It will be the fact that when I sit around a Thanksgiving table to give thanks, I have Someone to thank. I don’t have to thank the universe for my blessings, because I know they come from the Creator of the universe! I thank God. And I pray I can share all I know about His love and salvation until my dying day.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving—followed by a lifetime of thankful living. And may the Giver of all put a perpetual twinkle in your eye! It’s no secret that He wants to give you that gift.

Thanksgiving Corn

November 21, 2012 by Nancy 8 Comments

Here’s a “Back Porch Break” classic with memories of Thanksgivings past. Wishing you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving, full of memory-making!

With each year that passes I become fonder of Thanksgiving. Uncomplicated by the excessive decorating and gift-giving that we seem compelled to do at Christmas time, Thanksgiving is simpler. It’s all-inclusive, and it’s a time for focusing not on what we don’t have, but on what we do.

One of my fondest memories of Thanksgivings past was when I was living in a tiny village in Germany as the homesick wife of an Army officer and the mother of a two-year-old. The only other American family in the village invited us to share Thanksgiving dinner with them. They shared a tradition as well.

Many years and changes later that tradition is now a special part of Thanksgivings in our blended family. Although the group that gathers at our house can differ from year to year, someone’s sure to ask, “Are we going to do the corn thing?” Here’s how it’s done.

After the table is set for Thanksgiving dinner, you put a single kernel of corn at each place (popcorn works just fine). Once everyone is seated, you pass a small bowl or cup from person to person. In turn, each drops his or her kernel of corn into the bowl and says what he or she is most thankful for this year. (I always leave the gravy on the stove and the lid on the sweet-potato-and-marshmallow casserole…this can take awhile!)

Since there are no right or wrong answers, we’ve found almost everyone feels free to say something. This simple sharing bonds young and old, and both laughter and tears are pretty much guaranteed! If you decide to try “the corn thing,” the scene around your table could be something like this…

A mother might look down at the newborn sleeping in the crook of her arm and softly express gratitude for “ten fingers and ten toes.

A college freshman, home for the holiday with new appreciation for all that he left behind, might say, “I’m thankful for a home to come to…and that Mom’s doing my laundry.”

A grandma who successfully recuperated from heart bypass surgery might take the bowl in one hand, the corn in the other, and look around the table at people she loves. “I’m just thankful to be here with all of you,” she might say through her tears.

A small child might wriggle and giggle when it’s her turn, then say she’s thankful for “mommy and daddy and turkey to eat.”

One year, after the corn was collected and I was back in the kitchen pouring gravy into the gravy boat, I felt my little granddaughter Amanda tugging on my skirt. “Grancy!” she said with tears in her eyes, “I forgot to say I was thankful for Jesus—and for my sister!” I was glad to get everyone’s attention again so Amanda could add her “overlooked blessings.”

After the sharing, when the tears and laughter have subsided, we join hands and say grace. Of course, a grateful heart is the best prayer of all. May yours be full to overflowing with gratitude this year.