Thanksgiving

Grateful for the Fruit

November 15, 2018 by Nancy 22 Comments

My son Tim McConnell, lead pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Colorado Springs, is currently preaching a sermon series on GENTLENESS—part of the fruit of the Spirit listed in the Bible in Galatians 5:22-23. Listening to his encouragement that gentleness should be evident in the lives of believers today more than ever, I was reminded of a time when I saw the fruit of the Spirit come alive in a very real way.

It was years ago at a special prayer session called by the executive director of a nonprofit ministry where I volunteered. Family Life Services is a residential facility for single moms and their kids and, like many small nonprofits, it is a “pray and patch as we go” type of ministry.

On this particular evening a group of board members, staff members, and volunteers gathered to pray for the ministry in a more intentional way than we had for years. We were asked to begin our individual prayer time by finding a quiet place on the grounds, and by asking the Lord what He would have us pray for.

As I walked across the lawn, so many of the needs we had ran through my mind. We needed funds to replace some plaster falling from the ceiling on the third floor of the Victorian house that serves as ministry headquarters. We needed new carpeting. We needed someone to donate grounds keeping services. More important, we needed childcare volunteers for Thursday evenings when the moms meet for group counseling.

But then I quieted my mind and my heart and asked the Lord how He would have me pray. Clearly I heard Him say, “Pray for PEACE in times of conflict. Pray for LOVE to surround the mothers and children.”

When the group reconvened after 30 minutes of individual prayer, we shared what each of us had heard from the Lord. Soon it became evident that He had not instructed us to pray for anything tangible. The words GOODNESS and PATIENCE were quickly added to PEACE and LOVE. By the time we got all the way around the table, I realized that the Lord had instructed us to pray for everything comprising the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All gifts available through the Holy Spirit to those who believe in Jesus Christ.

What JOY we felt as we realized how intimately He was involved in our ministry. How encouraging it was to know that He cared enough to lead our prayers in the direction that would accomplish His purposes. Even when our eyes were focused on the things right in front of us, the Lord’s eyes were on the whole mission of the ministry and the lives He knew could be changed.

We need to remember to pray for the fruit of the Spirit to be evident not only in our own lives and personal ministries, but in the lives of all those for whom we pray. Instead of asking for a friend’s relief from financial or health concerns, maybe we should be praying that she will have JOY in the midst of the trials, or PATIENCE to wait for God’s solution in His time.

We can encourage a friend by telling her when we see the GENTLENESS in her response to a situation or the KINDNESS she shows to her elderly neighbor. Maybe you notice that someone who struggles with the need to gossip about others makes a conscious effort not to do so, and you can praise her for her SELF-CONTROL. Certainly a volunteer who dedicates year after year to a church or school near you should be commended for her FAITHFULNESS.

In this season of Thanksgiving, I choose to be grateful for the fruit of the Spirit. By recognizing it in others and affirming what we see, we can make this world a gentler place. And by praying for that fruit to be evident in us, we can live more fruitful lives.

Thankful Living

November 22, 2017 by Nancy 12 Comments

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.—Psalm 100:4-5

We live in a society that makes it easier to grumble than to be grateful. We have to move someplace we never really wanted to live, and so we grumble. We are disappointed that the political candidate we support isn’t elected, and so we grumble. Daily aggravations can produce grumbling as well: scheduled visits are cancelled, we have to wait for a doctor’s appointment, we look forward to a meal only to be faced with a surly server. All these things and more give us opportunities to grumble.

We even feel justified in our grumbling, don’t we? If we come from the misguided assumption that life should be fair, then grumbling is a given. But what if we change our assumption and our thinking? What if we begin to look, each and every day, not for reasons to grumble, but for reasons to be grateful? What if we could establish a habit of thankful living?

Ann Voscamp wrote a book titled One Thousand Gifts which began as a challenge from a friend to write down 1,000 blessings in her life. Ann’s list far exceeded 1,000 blessings once she opened her eyes to all that was around her. Can we do it? Can we begin to look for opportunities to be grateful rather than opportunities to grumble? Certainly keeping our eyes on God is a good place to start. Ann wrote in her blog, “We will give thanks to God not because of how we feel, but because of who He is.” Let us give thanks.

Can we do it? Can we even convert a life of habitual grumbling into a life of thankful living? With God’s help, and by keeping our focus on Him, we can. Certainly not all of us are grumblers, but all of us can be more aware of the blessings that are ours.

The older we grow, the more blessings we have in our blessings accounts. We enter into a life of thankful living when we spend more time remembering our blessings than fretting about what we don’t have now. For example, those of us blessed to be parents and grandparents can easily find ourselves wishing we could spend more time with those we love, but just the very existence of those people in our families is a blessing, isn’t it?

A woman having breakfast with her husband at a restaurant entered into a discussion with their waitress and found out the waitress was excited about leaving to visit her grandchildren the next day. “How old are they?” the woman asked. “They are six and eight,” the waitress replied. “How long has it been since you’ve seen them?” the woman inquired. “Oh, I’ve never seen them,” the waitress answered. Certainly that puts having to go weeks or months without seeing those we love into perspective, doesn’t it?

Paul wrote his letter to the Christians in Philippi, the Book of Philippians in the Bible, while he was in prison in Rome. Certainly Paul had much to grumble about. He was falsely accused and unfairly imprisoned. Yet the Book of Philippians is known as the book of joy! In spite of his circumstances, Paul was able to write a message of joy because of the certainty of his faith in Jesus Christ. His joy and gratitude were based on the eternity he knew was waiting for him, not on the prison cell around him.

We can have the same attitude of gratitude that sustained Paul. We can experience the joy of thankful living by focusing on all that God has done for us—and on our eternal life to come. As Thanksgiving comes this year, let us say along with Paul, “I thank my God” (Philippians 1:3).

(Excerpted in part from The Hope of Glory, Volume Two, publication date TBD.)

The Art of Thankful Giving

November 9, 2017 by Nancy 10 Comments

As Thanksgiving arrives this year our gratitude for what we have seems to run deeper than ever before, doesn’t it? As we look at all the blessings God has placed in our hands, we come to the realization that thanks giving may not be enough. It is rather “thankful giving” that best expresses our gratitude.

I hope to carry this attitude of thankful giving beyond Thanksgiving all the way through the Christmas season this year. While our shopping and wrapping may be scaled down as we focus even more on what matters most, I’m still extremely grateful to have the means to give something to others—and to have others to receive what I give.

Billy Graham said, “God has given us two hands—one to receive with and the other to give with. We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing.”

The realization that He has chosen us to be such channels of giving is sometimes humbling and heartrending. One Christmas season my two oldest granddaughters saw princess outfits they loved at a store at the mall. The frilly dresses were ridiculously overpriced, but being the indulgent grandmother I can sometimes be, I went back a few days later and purchased both.

As I was writing out my check the tears started to well up in my eyes. By the time I grabbed my bulky package and left the store they were freely flowing. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was able to buy gifts for my granddaughters when I knew there were many grandmothers who weren’t able to do the same.

A friend of mine is haunted by a news report she saw. A grandmother in Afghanistan was lying on a dirt floor, too weak to get up and tend to her six grandchildren who sat on the floor around her—their parents unaccounted for. Only God can reconcile the disparity between that woman and those of us who will be able to purchase and wrap gifts for our children and grandchildren for Christmas this year. Certainly the love in her heart is no weaker than that in ours.

“Freely you have received; freely give,” Jesus said (Matthew 10:8 NIV). It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, and sharing what we have received with those we love may be the greatest form of gratitude. This year let’s make an attitude of thankful giving the invisible “add-on” to every package we wrap.

Feeling Grape-ful

November 17, 2016 by Nancy 16 Comments

Even when grapes aren’t on my grocery list it seems I always come home from the store with some. I can’t resist those beautiful green or red orbs, now usually packaged in easy-to-grab cellophane bags.

And is there any other fruit more…well, fruitful? Grapes are not only a delicious, nutritious snack for school kids and dieters, they are used to make jam, jelly, juice, raisins, vinegar, grape seed oil and, of course—wine! In fact, 71% of all grapes grown are used to make wine, and the United States is fifth in in the world in grape production, behind Spain, France, Italy and Turkey. (If you somehow missed seeing the episode of “I Love Lucy” where Lucy visits a winery in Italy and learns to stomp grapes, find it on YouTube. It’s always good for a laugh!)

In this season of nostalgia and gratitude, however, I’ve discovered yet another purpose for grapes. No doubt you, like me, have friends and acquaintances going through difficult times this season—or maybe the person suffering is you. Two people I know have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. A wonderful couple in our community lost a son to addiction in spite of every effort to save him. Natural and manmade disasters fill evening news reports and newspapers.

In light of all this, I want to be more aware of the blessings I have been given—and to focus anew not on what I don’t have, but on what I do. This is where the grapes come in. While sitting quietly with a small bowl of grapes next to my favorite reading chair, I decided to let each grape I plucked from the bunch represent a blessing that came my way this year. Taste and see that the Lord is good…we read in Psalm 34:8. Oh how His goodness became apparent to me as I acknowledged one blessing after another…all while enjoying the fruit of the vine.

On every bunch of grapes there will be a few vacant stems. Maybe a bird ate that grape or it was sorted out of the bunch for some reason. I let the empty stems represent blessings that didn’t come my way, but went to someone else instead. Maybe to one of the people that I know is hurting. And so I was even grateful for the missing grapes.

Grapes nourish us, but then so does gratitude. It’s said a grateful heart is in itself a prayer. I hope you can join me in being grape-ful this season. Taste and see!

This blog post first appeared as a column in The Country Register, Nov-Dec 2016.

Holiday Transitions

November 24, 2015 by Nancy 15 Comments

As the leftover items from our yard sale were loaded into a big truck to be donated to a worthwhile charity this past summer, it wasn’t seeing doll furniture or well-loved dishes disappearing through the big open doors on the side of the truck that made me cry. It was the big straw turkey that had been a part of our Thanksgiving decorations for many years. He seemed to be looking at me saying, “What did I do? Didn’t I faithfully sit on your front porch through all kinds of weather? And I have to tell you, that pumpkin rotting next to me didn’t smell so good either!”

But he had to go because we were “downsizing.” Not only did I think there wouldn’t be a spot for him on our new front porch, I didn’t think we would want to store him the other 11 months of the year. Bye-bye turkey.

That’s just one of the holiday tradition transitions that we’ll be experiencing this year. With every move the question is always asked: Where will we put the Christmas tree in this new house? After a move like ours, the question will more likely be: Do we still have a tree? If so, where is it? And did we keep those dangling icicle lights or did we toss them?

Changes in holiday traditions can be unsettling. There’s comfort in knowing the fall leaves, pumpkins and gourds always go on the mantel at Thanksgiving, and the nativity set is always set up on the buffet in the dining room for Christmas. But what if you move to a home without a mantel? What if you sold the buffet at auction and got a pitiful amount for it? (Sorry, touchy subject there.)

I know I’ll enjoy decorating our new, smaller home for the holidays this year, and I will appreciate our decorations even more because they survived the move. Due to sentimental attachment or simple oversight, whatever we have now wasn’t culled, so decorating will be like introducing old friends to our new home. I’ll try to focus not on what has changed, but on what will never change.

Gone is the big oak dining table with three leaves that expanded to ten feet long. Yet no matter who sits around our smaller Thanksgiving table this year, we’ll still have warm memories of all the faces who’ve been around our table in years past. We’ll still get a lump in our throats when each person shares what he or she is most grateful for this year, and we’ll still praise God and thank Him for all the blessings He bestows on us day after day—including the opportunity to downsize.

When Christmas rolls around our cat, Molly, will still take up residence under the tree. We’ll still have the crèches and tree ornaments that remind us of the reason for the season: For to us a child is born, to us a son is given…And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). My husband will still say that “Mary, Did You Know?” is his favorite Christmas song, and singing “Silent Night” by candlelight on Christmas Eve will still bring tears to my eyes. Yes, there will be changes and transitions this holiday season, but the people we love will seem even dearer, and the God we serve will still be sovereign over all. The best things in life transition well.

The Thanksgiving Table

November 25, 2014 by Nancy 18 Comments

I saw her coming down the hall as I was setting up for The Hope of Glory class in assisted living. Her feet were well padded with several pairs of socks, making it possible for her to propel her wheelchair slowly along using one foot at a time.

“Nellie!” I called out. “Are you coming to Bible study? Would you like me to push you?” She answered yes to both questions and then lifted her feet straight in front of her to expedite our journey into the activities room where I wheeled her to the end of the table.

On the table was a multi-colored fall tablecloth. It was one I’d taken home to wash after an event at church, only I’d forgotten to take it in on Sunday, so it was still in the backseat of my car. I saw it when I reached for my book and plate of cookies for class. At the last second I grabbed the tablecloth also, thinking it might brighten someone’s day. Little did I know how much.

During class, I noticed how fascinated Nellie was with the tablecloth. “Oh look,” she said, pointing with her gnarled finger to specific places in the design. “There are apples and grapes on here. I could make apple juice with apples like that—and grape juice with those grapes, too!”

Our lesson was titled Attitude of Gratitude: How it’s important for us, as we age, to replace any grumbling with gratitude for the gift of living a long and productive life. We looked at key Scriptures on thankfulness, including how we are to give thanks in all circumstances as we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:18—not necessarily for all circumstances but in all circumstances. And we talked about how remembering what the Lord has done for us in the past can help us be more grateful in the present. But I’m not sure Nellie was listening.

I noticed her place both hands on the tablecloth, palms down, and begin smoothing out the wrinkles, just as women have done for generations when setting a Thanksgiving table. What is she thinking about, I wondered. Is she remembering Thanksgivings when she set a beautiful table in her home for her husband and children, or when she helped her grandmother smooth out her best linen tablecloth for a family Thanksgiving on the farm?

Nellie picked up one edge of the cloth and slowly ran her fingers along the hem to the corner. I wondered how many tablecloths she had laundered and folded in her lifetime.

I felt so blessed after class. We don’t have family coming home for Thanksgiving this year, so I won’t be setting a fancy table or stuffing a turkey. I’m fine with going out for a change, but seeing Nellie’s reaction to that tablecloth brought back a flood of treasured memories. I remembered my mother’s Thanksgiving table with mums in the turkey centerpiece, and all the tables I set for our family over the years.

Are you setting a table this year? If so, get out your best tablecloth. Smooth out the wrinkles with both hands. During dinner, record the faces gathered ‘round the table in your heart. We can’t always be with the people we’d like to be with on Thanksgiving due to weather, distance, resources, even death or divorce. But we can be grateful for those who are around the table with us, and be fully present for them.

At the end of class today, when I asked Nellie if she had any prayer requests to add to our list, she looked up at me and smiled. After a moment’s pause, she said, “Just for everyone to be happy.” Me, too, Nellie. Me too. Happy Thanksgiving.