Back Porch Break

An Encouraging Word

January 5, 2018 by Nancy 18 Comments

Each new year brings with it the urge to clear our closets and our lives of the clutter we’ve collected. We want to clean out the old and make way for the new! The new year is also the time for categorizing our habits and deciding which ones to toss out and which ones to carry forward. One I hope we all consider keeping is the habit of encouraging others.

The Greek word for encouragement is “parakaleo,” which means to call a person to your side in order to aid, assist, counsel, console, comfort, exhort and strengthen. It is a word that accurately describes the role of the Holy Spirit and the way the Spirit works through believers to reach others. Webster’s dictionary defines encourage, “to inspire, to renew or give hope.” And while those without a life of faith can be wonderful encouragers, of course, no one can encourage more effectively than the believer filled with the Spirit.

When we make sharing encouraging words a habit, it’s easier to always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have (I Peter 3:15 NIV). What kinds of words can we use to encourage others? Words that heal, words that help, and words from the heart.

Every time you listen to a friend’s grief over a marriage that is failing, the loss of a spouse, or a child that is sick you have a chance to encourage the oppressed (Isaiah 1:17) with words that heal. Just saying “I’m sorry” can penetrate the despair your friend is feeling. So can the words “I love you,” spoken over and over, and “I’ll always be here for you.” Words that heal.

Speaking words that help may be a habit that you aren’t even aware you have. When you offer to clean house for a sick neighbor, cook a meal, pick up the kids or baby sit, you are offering words that help. Let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching we read in Hebrews 10:25. You do that when you offer words that help make life easier for others.

The most encouraging words of all are words spoken from the heart. Those words the Spirit leads you to spontaneously share with people you know, and even with strangers.

Speaker and author Sandra Aldrich tells a wonderful story about some encouraging words she received when she was faced with adapting to single parenthood after her husband’s death. Still grieving for her husband, she decided to take a trip with her two children to give them all a diversion. But it didn’t go well. Her son was always running off, and her daughter shadowed her so closely she almost tripped over her at every turn. Finally getting her son in tow, she was standing in line with both kids at a restaurant wondering how she was ever going to manage as a single mother.

Just then an elderly, Spanish-speaking woman who had been observing Sandra and her children for awhile passed by them. Reaching out, she patted Sandra on the arm and in her halting English said, “You good mamma.” That’s all she said. “You good mamma.” And then she was gone.

Those few words of encouragement, spoken from the heart of one mother to another, sustained Sandra through her years of single parenthood and made such an impression on her that she included the story in a speech many years later.

Words that heal, words that help, and words from the heart. Sharing them with others is a habit worthy of the new year.

The Christmas Swap

December 21, 2017 by Nancy 16 Comments

I drove away from an annual Christmas Cookie Swap delighted with my tin filled with a variety of delectable cookies. Especially since I had taken chocolate crackle cookies made from a recipe I never tried before. I literally had to scrape the pan to get enough dough to make the 4 dozen cookies requested. Some were small, some were large, some were overdone. Fortunately, powdered sugar covers a multitude of sins, right?

But now! Now I was driving home with seven-layer bars, frosted sugar cookies, Napoleon hats, lemon wafers, rum balls, and so much more! It’s hard to pat yourself on the back while you’re driving, but I was definitely pleased—and grateful to my gracious friend who decorates her home beautifully and hosts this event each year.

With new confidence in my ability to make such an astute and excellent exchange, 4 dozen powder-coated crackle cookies for a tin full of baked delicacies, I began to wonder what else I should swap this Christmas season.

The first thing that came to mind was that maybe I could swap out my need to be heard, and to be right, with a willingness to really listen to what other people have to say. This could sweeten up my attitudes, and so be a good and a healthy swap.

I’d also like to swap out pessimism for optimism. There are events and changes in this world that give me reason to be discouraged, but there are also blessings to be found in every situation if we look for them. I want to be less like Eeyore and more like Tigger! That would be a mighty fine swap.

Always, I endeavor to swap out fear for faith. Concerns for friends and family members, and some of the choices they make, can lead me to fear the worst. But faith overcomes fear. God is still on His throne. He still cares. He still loves. There’s no question faith is the better deal.

I want to swap out darkness for light. There’s an abundance of evil in the world and despite our best efforts to keep it out, some might still seep under the doors of my home. I don’t need to invite it in. This season, I swapped out contentious news reports for schmaltzy Christmas movies. That was a soul-healing swap for sure!

All of these exchanges, as good as they are, may just be temporary however. The most enduring and amazing Christmas swap is the exchange God made with us. It’s clearly spelled out in a familiar Bible verse, John 3:16 (KJV): For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. He sent His Son, Jesus, in exchange for a world of sin. He swapped forgiveness for failing. He traded the eternal for the temporal.

My prayer for those who have not yet swapped out a limited life for an eternal one is that they will do so this Christmas by believing in Jesus Christ. No judgment. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. All need a Savior.

Our powdered-sugar coated, temporal lives for His pure eternal one. What a miraculous, life-changing Christmas swap!

The Art of Thankful Giving

November 9, 2017 by Nancy 10 Comments

As Thanksgiving arrives this year our gratitude for what we have seems to run deeper than ever before, doesn’t it? As we look at all the blessings God has placed in our hands, we come to the realization that thanks giving may not be enough. It is rather “thankful giving” that best expresses our gratitude.

I hope to carry this attitude of thankful giving beyond Thanksgiving all the way through the Christmas season this year. While our shopping and wrapping may be scaled down as we focus even more on what matters most, I’m still extremely grateful to have the means to give something to others—and to have others to receive what I give.

Billy Graham said, “God has given us two hands—one to receive with and the other to give with. We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing.”

The realization that He has chosen us to be such channels of giving is sometimes humbling and heartrending. One Christmas season my two oldest granddaughters saw princess outfits they loved at a store at the mall. The frilly dresses were ridiculously overpriced, but being the indulgent grandmother I can sometimes be, I went back a few days later and purchased both.

As I was writing out my check the tears started to well up in my eyes. By the time I grabbed my bulky package and left the store they were freely flowing. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was able to buy gifts for my granddaughters when I knew there were many grandmothers who weren’t able to do the same.

A friend of mine is haunted by a news report she saw. A grandmother in Afghanistan was lying on a dirt floor, too weak to get up and tend to her six grandchildren who sat on the floor around her—their parents unaccounted for. Only God can reconcile the disparity between that woman and those of us who will be able to purchase and wrap gifts for our children and grandchildren for Christmas this year. Certainly the love in her heart is no weaker than that in ours.

“Freely you have received; freely give,” Jesus said (Matthew 10:8 NIV). It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, and sharing what we have received with those we love may be the greatest form of gratitude. This year let’s make an attitude of thankful giving the invisible “add-on” to every package we wrap.

Time for Some Fall-da-ra!

October 16, 2017 by Nancy 26 Comments

I know the word is really folderol, or falderal, and means foolishness or nonsense. But when I used my version to describe a neighbor’s wonderful display of all things autumn at her house we both laughed—so I thought I’d spread the joy!

Actually fall decorations aren’t nonsense, they are delightful and meaningful. The most lavish displays of fall-da-ra I’ve seen in my lifetime are in East Tennessee. Visiting my home state in October, and driving through Pigeon Forge to Gatlinburg and on to Cades Cove in The Great Smoky Mountains National Park, I saw more pumpkins, scarecrows, dried cornstalks, decorative corn and gourds, hay bales and mums than I knew existed. Every street corner, business or residence has a fall display each year, and many rival a Macy’s window at Christmas time in terms of creativity and abundance.

So what motivates us to do this kind of fall decorating? Why do I have three tubs of fall decorations myself, and take great delight in setting out autumn leaves, pumpkins, and all things orange, red, and gold? The tradition actually has very deep roots. Anyone who has farmed or been around a farm knows the activity and celebration that accompanies the harvest season. Once all the hard work is done, the hay is baled and in the barn, the produce is picked and canned for winter, then it’s time to party!

Neighbors in farming communities still come together bringing fresh-baked apple pies and squash casseroles to share. Tables are decorated with mason-jar bouquets of the last blooms from the garden. There might even be a square dance to the tune of a fiddle or two—all under the glow of a big orange harvest moon. After all, in some areas of the country neighbors might not see one another again until the spring thaw. Time to celebrate!

As for the even more meaningful part, harvest is mentioned throughout the Bible. After the great flood detailed in Genesis, God promised Noah: “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease” (Gen. 8:22). In Exodus 23:16, God named one of the three feasts He expected the Jewish people to celebrate the Feast of Harvest. “Celebrate the Feast of Harvest with the firstfruits of the crops you sow in your field,” He said.

As with most Biblical themes, the harvest is carried through from the Old Testament to the New Testament. So we read in Galatians 6:9: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Why have some fall-da-ra? To celebrate hard work completed—that we truly do reap what we sow. To acknowledge God’s abundant blessing in our lives and prepare for the upcoming season of Thanksgiving. To remind ourselves that it’s never too late to live a productive life from which others can glean something useful.

So pile up the pumpkins, make a centerpiece of multi-colored mums, light the spice-scented candles, set the cobbler on the counter to cool. It’s fall. Time for some fall-da-ra!

Grateful for the Golden Days

September 21, 2017 by Nancy 14 Comments

In places that experience a change of seasons it happens every fall. As the days grow shorter, they seem to take on a golden hue that bathes and blesses us. I don’t know how sunlight can change color, but it clearly does. These are the golden days, and we need to embrace them and bask in them before the snow flies.

Life has golden seasons, too, doesn’t it? Several couples we know are celebrating their 50th Anniversaries this fall. My husband and I are in a second marriage, so we laugh that we’ll have to be wheeled into the activities room in assisted living if we make it to our fiftieth celebration—we’ll be 90 and 91. “Look, honey! There’s a cake!” one of us might exclaim.

Which doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate that these are golden years for us, too–and we thank God for them. A recent tragedy experienced by close friends reminds us this could change any time. But as of today we both have our health, the time and inclination to engage in activities that bring us joy, and ministries that make life worth living. We have more family members geographically close than ever before, and we love getting to spend time with them. In our own way, these are our golden years, and we are glad we know it.

I find myself wondering how to spend these glorious, golden days of fall however. What could I do to celebrate all things golden besides binge watch episodes of “The Golden Girls”—which is never a completely bad idea by the way. Maybe I could buy some goldfish to entertain the cats. I’d love to go gallivanting with a litter of Golden Retriever puppies. Or pluck a golden pear from a tree. Or listen to a golden oldies station on the radio and reprise some dance moves from the 60’s and 70’s! Or better than all that, perhaps I should look for golden opportunities to make a positive difference in the world—even to live out the golden rule.

What about you? How will you celebrate these golden days of autumn? Even if life has thrown some crises your way, can you look for the golden aspects of each day? Can you find some time just to sit on a park bench and let the warm autumn sun reach down into your soul? A quote seen on Pinterest read, “These are days we dream about when the sunlight paints us gold.” Yes! The glorious days when the sunlight paints us gold. Let’s live them fully.

One Is Enough

August 28, 2017 by Nancy 18 Comments

Readers who follow my blog posts know that I wrote one in late June titled “Where Have All the Hummers Gone?” Except for one reader who joked that she thought I meant the behemoth, gas-guzzling vehicles, most wrote with sympathetic sentiments about my dearth of hummingbirds and sent helpful suggestions about how to attract some.

In this my last word on the hummingbird (well, for this season anyway), I’m happy to report that I have one! For three months I faithfully watched that forlorn feeder, changing the nectar often. I even tried different varieties of feeders, but no visitors arrived. Finally I saw the familiar, precious silhouette of a hummer early one morning in mid-July. I’m delighted to say that he (and I’m just assuming it’s a he) now visits in the first light of dawn each day. And I have learned to be ever so grateful.

Those of you who enjoy a plethora of hummers dipping, diving, and buzzing around your feeders may wonder how I could seem so content with just one, but it’s all a matter of perspective. Because he always arrives during my morning quiet time, it’s as if the Lord sends him as a special blessing on my day. One is enough to deliver this blessing. One is enough to bring me joy. One is enough.

And there are other lessons to be heard from hummingbirds. I had lunch with a friend a few weeks ago, a friend who lives in a canyon south of town by the mountains and has to fill her feeders several times a day. She commented that the rufous always comes around to chase all the other birds away from the feeder, but then never drinks himself! “Isn’t that just like people?” she mused. “We think we want what somebody else has, but we really don’t need it!”

Another friend texted to tell me her feeder on the west side was buzzing with nine hummers at once. I was pleasantly surprised by my reaction when I realized I wasn’t the least bit jealous! I could have been, but I wasn’t. Instead I was truly happy for her and relieved to know that at least hummingbirds were alive and well somewhere. Anyway, I have one. And one is enough.

Maybe part of my contentment comes because we had the opportunity to go up to the mountains twice this summer and I got to enjoy the hummingbirds there. Or maybe it’s just the old adage that “you don’t miss what you have until it’s gone” at play. I really missed having a lot of hummingbirds, so now I’m content with my one little buddy.

So drink deeply, tiny friend. My offering of nectar is all for you, and I’ll see you in the morning.