Back Porch Break

Christmas Tears

December 19, 2014 by Nancy 20 Comments

What is it about this season that has us gazing at blurry Christmas lights as we fight back tears? Or digging through our purse for a tissue as we let them flow?

There are many reasons for the feelings that fall from our eyes this time of year. Many of them joyful. My granddaughter Amanda called to tell me, with great excitement in her voice, that she’s engaged! I’m truly happy for her, and at peace that her match with her fiancé Taylor is a God-ordained one, yet I cried off and on for about 24 hours. I can’t explain it; I just needed to cry. For the precious little girl she once was. For the beautiful, Godly woman she’s become. For the future she’s been given. For love.

To stem the tide of tears, my husband took me over to the Broadmoor Hotel, a very nice resort near us, to walk around the lake and see their Christmas decorations. That helped for a while, but we also browsed a specialty kitchen shop there and I happened to pick up a jar labeled: Southern Pecan Pie in a Jar. Jim took one look at me and knew the tears were going to flow yet again. “You can’t put Southern pecan pie in a jar!” I exclaimed, as a flood of memories of my mom’s pecan pie, served around her dining room table in Tennessee, washed over me—along with the realization that while I have her recipe, I’ll never taste her pecan pie again.

In fact, memories of loved ones who have gone before us stimulate many of the Christmas tears we shed. Last Christmas season I offered to take a dear, recently widowed woman in our church to a “remembrance service” the church held. During the service I saw her dabbing her eyes with her embroidered handkerchief and silently but foolishly gave myself a mental pat on the back for making the effort to bring her to the service. Yet afterwards, when I asked her what she thought of the experience, she said, “I think it made it worse.” So much for trying to comfort her. Sometimes we just have to cry, and for a time at least, little else helps.

Yet could it also be that our senses are more alive this time of year? Everywhere we look the world is aglow. Bright lights adorn church sanctuaries and gas stations alike. People are kinder. Faces of loved ones are dearer. Life is sweeter. It’s all just enough to make a grown woman cry. And the music! We can’t forget the music. Last Sunday our worship pastor invited a cellist to play with our praise band. The melodies of familiar carols never seemed so rich and uplifting, nor the words so meaningful. There I was, digging in my purse for that last tissue I knew was there some place.

“There is a sacredness in tears,” writes Washington Irving. “They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

It’s the unspeakable love that has my Christmas tears flowing this year. Love for family. Love for friends. And the love that came down on Christmas. The love we read of in John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. Unspeakable love indeed.

If you’re also feeling weepy this Christmas, let’s just watch Hallmark movies until we can’t cry another tear. Let the feelings flow into a sea of unspeakable love. Then our hearts and minds will be cleansed and ready for the New Year. Tissue, anyone?

Fall Gardens

November 19, 2014 by Nancy 14 Comments

Before last week’s brutal cold and snow, my husband and I busied ourselves getting the gardens ready for winter. I was reminded of a Back Porch Break classic column from 19 falls ago:

Sometimes the simplest tasks can bring unexpected rewards when we have the time to do them consciously. I’m reminded of this as I make one last trip through the yard and garden before winter.

When the last of the leaves go into the lawn bag, I find myself appreciating the tenaciousness with which they held to the trees. Don’t we all try to hold on in times of change? Two leaves escape and bounce across the yard in the wind. The cat chases after them for a while and then decides he will also let them go.

On top of the leaves go the trimmings from the pansy plants in the big iron pot by the door. My mom and I are connected by pansies. I remember the photos I sent her last summer, and how hard it was to convince a little grandchild to stay next to the pot long enough for me to snap the picture. As usual, the plants are left in place in hopes they’ll make it through the winter.

Clipping the heads off a row of dianthus, I notice new green growth underneath the dead stems. No doubt the plants were fooled by the warm days of autumn. I smile at their impatience and hope they won’t suffer too much for it.

Arriving in front of a stand of iris, I kneel down beside them and stop. Before I reach out to pull away the brown leaves, I imagine the regal purple blooms on top of sturdy stalks swaying in the early breezes of summer. These iris aren’t from catalog bulbs. My dad gave the bulbs to me when he divided the ones in his yard in Tennessee. I’ve had the same bulbs, or derivatives of them, at two houses in Tennessee and three houses in Colorado. They have transplanted as well as I, and they grow ever dearer now that my dad is gone. Sleep well, my friends.

Around the rose bush I rake the smallest leaves I can find, creating nature’s equivalent of flannel sheets and goose down comforter. As the wind picks up, I collect the last of the Columbine and Sweet William leaves and a handful of fading mint. The mint still has a rich aroma, much headier than its summer offering, so I save a few twigs to add to a potpourri inside.

On to another patch of garden. The shriveled cherry tomato plants come up easily, uncovering a feast of sun-dried tomatoes for some yuppie birds to enjoy on their way back to California. The strawberry leaves, now a russet red, are an unexpected find. Having a “Martha Stewart moment,” I collect a few to tie to the top of a loaf of pumpkin bread cooling in the kitchen, leaving the rest as a quilt for the small berry bed.

The ritual complete, I realize how dulling to the senses it must be to live year round in one of those places where the seasons never change; a place where a forecasted temperature of 62 degrees sends everyone scurrying off to find a wool coat. No, I need the seasons.

The lawn bag is closed and tied; the garden gloves and clippers find a home on the shelf in the garage. Let it snow.

(The small grandchild I referenced then was Francesca, now a college graduate living in Ireland where she’s finding wonderful subjects for her photography, like the photo of the red berries above! ©FrancescaMcConnell.com)

Meet Author Norma Gail

November 14, 2014 by Nancy 10 Comments

I’m pleased to introduce my readers to another Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas author, Norma Gail. Her romance novel, Land of My Dreams, may be just what you need to escape the hectic pace this holiday season! I enjoyed reading about her journey as a writer and trust you will too.

How and when did you begin to write?

I began to write after the first time I read Little Women. Jo March seems to have inspired a lot of women to write. I would make up a story and get my younger sisters and the neighborhood kids to play parts I assigned them.

Through junior high through high school, my best friend and I wrote stories and poems, critiquing them for each other. In fact, she helped me many times during the writing of Land of My Dreams. I always wanted to be a published author, but the lure of nursing, marriage, and two children 21 months apart kept me from it until they were grown. I did write adoption stories for both of them which became bedtime favorites, but other than that I did not write for over 20 years.

I began writing poetry again after my dad was killed by lightning, and from that I began to write devotionals for the openings of the Bible study I lead at our church. That grew into weekly devotionals for our church webpage, to a weekly devotional blog, and finally to my dream of writing fiction.

Can you give my readers a short description of Land of My Dreams?

Alone and betrayed, American professor, Bonny Bryant longs for a haven of peace. She accepts a position at a small Christian college in Fort William, Scotland, craving escape from her painful past. The passionate love which develops when she meets fellow professor and sheep farmer, Kieran MacDonell, is something she never anticipated. Kieran harbors a deep anger toward God in the face of his own devastating grief. When Bonny’s former fiancé reenters her life, Kieran’s loneliness draws him to a former student. How will Bonny decide between her rivals? Can they set aside the past to make way for a future, or will it drive them apart? Land of My Dreams spans the distance between New Mexico’s high desert mountains and the misty Scottish Highlands with a timeless story of overwhelming grief, undying love, and compelling faith.

What led you to write it?

After a trip to Scotland in 2006, and a very vivid dream about a Scottish sheep farmer on a misty hillside, the idea began to grow. We met an American from Phoenix who married a Scot and had lived there for many years. Since I am married to a Dutch immigrant, it sparked an idea which grew from there.

When I broke my foot and was confined to a wheelchair for several weeks, unable to drive, I had the time to begin writing and it snowballed from there.

What are you working on now?

My current work in progress is a sequel to Land of My Dreams, entitled Within Golden Bands. It picks up the night after the first book ends and all of the characters make an appearance in the first chapter. I have found it interesting that readers wanted the two antagonists to continue in the book. One person said they were too bad to leave out. After that, I plan a historical series partially based on stories of my own pioneer ancestors in the south and southwest.

Do you have any advice for beginning writers?

Start attending writer’s conferences early on, before you finish your book. Pay for a professional edit before pitching it to anyone. Spend time learning your craft, and if you are so fortunate to have a local Christian writer’s group, get involved. I don’t have that and really wish I did.

If you really desire to be published, don’t let rejections discourage you. Learn from them and keep trying. A teachable attitude will go a long way toward making someone consider your book. If it doesn’t make it with the big publishers try the smaller ones. They are often more open and offer a really special, nurturing relationship to a new writer.

How can my readers find out more about you and your work?

I love connecting with readers! Here are my social media and book links:
www.normagail.org
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail
https://plus.google.com/b/102717101441594679714/+Normagail/about/p/pub
http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459.Norma_Gail
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2
@Norma_Gail

Book Trailer:

Land of My Dreams is available at:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170/ or
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/land-of-my-dreams-norma-gail/1119606864 ?ean=9781941103173

Thanks, Norma Gail!

Blogger’s Block

October 20, 2014 by Nancy Leave a Comment

The photo says it all. Beau and I have both been staring at the computer screen for some time now, but no blog posts have magically appeared. Writing coaches always say the best way to break through writer’s block is just to begin writing. Begin scribbling. Begin doodling. Just begin! So with that in mind I decided to begin blogging about the fact that I seem to have blogger’s block.

Yet I do so with hesitation. You and I both know that there is a lot of blathering going on out there under the guise of blogging. I don’t want to send another useless blog into the blogosphere to add to the glut in existence. Yet I feel I owe it to my faithful subscribers to offer up something. So here it is.

How, you may wonder, could I let all of September and half of October go by without blogging? We’ve had a glorious fall here in Colorado with golden-baked days, blue skies, cool nights, and the prettiest, most awe-inspiring Aspen season in recent memory, yet none of this beauty inspired a blog. During September we traveled to the South to see precious family members and overnighted in Vail with dear friends, yet no blogs were born.

Maybe the reason for my blogger’s block is that I seem to be in a state of suspension right now. Our house is on the market as we attempt to “right size” but hasn’t sold yet. My next book, Take My Hand Again, is at the publisher but hasn’t released yet. I’ve had some success on the Paleo diet but haven’t reached my goal yet.

Still, through all the “not yets,” I wait with a sense of wonder and heightened expectation. That’s because I’m also seasoned enough to know that when we feel blocked, or stifled, or stuck in a holding pattern, it may be because God is intent on getting our attention. In this “not yet” season of my life, He gently whispers, “It will all happen in my time. You do trust me, right? Rest in me.”

I do trust Him and His timing in my life. And so I will continue to look out the windows of the home I’ve loved for 25 years and be blessed by the golden trees, the mountains, the cityscape, the sunrises and sunsets. I’ll continue to enjoy cozy dinners and watching football games with my husband, and cuddling my cats during morning quiet times.

And I’ll continue to be grateful for the mystery of the creative process, however it torments me, and for the readers who connect with me whenever I find something worthwhile to say. Thank you for understanding while I wait for the inspiration to blog to return. Don’t worry. There’s joy in the waiting!

Savoring Summer

July 28, 2014 by Nancy 10 Comments

Why is it that even though summer days are longer in terms of sunlight, they seem to slip by so much faster than winter days? Each year it seems like summer is gone before I’ve fully embraced it, leaving me to say, “But wait! I was going to go to the pool more. Hold on! We didn’t go to any summer concerts under the stars!”

Summer won’t wait. While we still have some of it left, let’s get serious about savoring every single bit of summer we can salvage! Here are some things I still want to do. How about you?

Visit a farmer’s market. Even if you’re traveling and can only pick up a few apples or carrots to snack on in the car, take time to stroll through local markets wherever you are and experience the sights and smells of locally grown produce, herbs, and flowers. I’ve been brought to tears by the sight of fresh green beans in Maryland and avocadoes in California. Add whatever you find at your local market to your family’s dinner menu. Fresh always tastes better!

Take advantage of free festivals, concerts or theater in the park, parades, and street performances. It only takes a little extra effort to log on to community websites and find out what’s happening where. A folding camp chair and cool beverage is all you need to add—but you have to remember to show up! Write upcoming events on your calendar and go.

At least once, walk through the grass barefooted. I don’t care how old you are, it’s not summer unless you’ve felt cool, damp grass between your toes. If you can run through the sprinkler, too, so much the better! The neighbors might wonder about your sanity if you don’t have any grandkids or neighbor children with you, but who cares? It’s summer, after all!

Find a shady spot and move a favorite chair into it so you can enjoy reading outside. Even better, plop down on a porch swing or hammock. Forget about the recommended reading lists and “must read” book club selections. Read something that relaxes you and soothes your soul. Doze at will.

Eat outside as often as possible. If bugs are a problem where you live, find a screened in porch. Whether the fare is grilled burgers or cool summer soups and salads, dining al fresco is what summer is all about. Don’t miss out this year.

Whether you take a vacation or a stay-cation, may you savor summer in a million little ways. If we love it while it lasts, the memories will make us smile during the winter days to come. Happy summer!

Leaning In

June 23, 2014 by Nancy 16 Comments

Recently I scanned portions of the highly popular book Lean In, written by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook who is listed on Fortune’s list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business. I liked what she had to say a lot more than I expected. After all, if you are going to give 8-10 hours a day to your career, shouldn’t you be fully engaged? Shouldn’t you make sure your good ideas are heard, and that your intelligence shows?
I say yes, and so I recommend the book to women still in the corporate world who want to get rid of internal barriers and fully and confidently engage in their work. I can recommend the book because Ms. Sandberg also wisely dispels the myth that women can have it all at once. Make your choices, ladies. If you choose to work in the corporate world, take a place at the table, speak up, and lean in.
What I realized after scanning this book, however, is how grateful I am not to have to do the corporate leaning in thing anymore. The older you are, the clearer your view of what matters in life. That sort of leaning in was important for a season, yes, but I now have more important reasons to lean in.
For instance, I lean in to hear what my husband is saying to me in a crowded restaurant. What if it’s a term of endearment I miss? It’s not enough to nod and smile at him across the table. I want to really know what he thinks, feels, and wants to express at this time in our life together. So I lean in.
I also don’t want to miss an opportunity to stoop down and lean in to the tear-stained face of a child who is upset by one of life’s injustices. What could be more valuable than helping that little soul feel heard, even if the injustice simply can’t be rectified? So I lean in.
Staying physically strong is vital to finishing strong in life, so I walk around our hilly neighborhood. I often laugh to myself when I remember the advice of running guru Jim Fixx, who said that when you are going up a hill you should lean in and pretend you are a tiger on all fours! I don’t feel much like a tiger, but I lean in and keep going, no matter how steep the slope.
Once I started thinking about good reasons to lean in, the list just kept growing! Lean in to smell the flowers and breathe deeply. Lean in to an infant carrier and admire a newborn. Lean in to share a prayer with an elderly friend. And of course, as the old hymn says, there’s joy and comfort in doing all this while leaning on the everlasting arms of God. Life is precious. Let’s all lean in and live it fully!