Back Porch Break

Looking Back…Briefly

December 30, 2015 by Nancy 12 Comments

A funny thing happened at my church last Sunday. A computer glitch prevented the words from the praise songs to appear on the screen in front of the worship center, so everyone in the congregation turned to read the words on the screen on the back wall. The screen usually seen only by the worship team.

I had slipped into the restroom just before the service, so imagine my surprise when I came in a back door to find that the whole congregation was facing backward…and seeing me walk in! Families arriving late who thought they were sneaking into the back of the church were similarly surprised.

We all had a good laugh about the computer glitch and the creative solution, but later I thought, “What an appropriate way to worship God on the last Sunday of the year: looking back with praise to Him for all He did and all He brought us through.”

The challenge is to look back this time of year without getting stuck in the past. We need to look back to remember the good and the bad, and the way our lives were protected and directed by God. We need to look back to decide what, if anything, is worth carrying with us into the next year. What relationships, what goals, what challenges? But then it’s time to turn all the way around, face the future, and move into the new year with confidence that He who got us this far won’t abandon us now.

Sometimes we know what the next year will bring. Graduations are on the books. Plans for a June wedding are in place. A move or a new job is in the wind. An elective surgery is scheduled. A vacation deposit is made. But more often we aren’t sure what will happen between the sunrises and sunsets of the days that make up the year to come.

So much uncertainty can be unsettling. Then we remember that God said, “I the Lord do not change” (Malachi 3:6). And so we trust. We turn to face the new year head on, full of confidence and belief not in ourselves, but in the One who loves us, holds our days in His hands, and promises us eternal life through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.

May God bless and keep you in 2016. Happy New Year!

Christmas Snow

December 22, 2015 by Nancy 8 Comments

The prognosticators say it may happen. We may see a fresh blanket of snow in our town on Christmas Day. Some say Christmas snow is magical…and perhaps it is. Was it really the top hat that brought Frosty the Snowman to life, or the snow itself?

But Christmas snow is more than magical to me. There’s a spiritual quality about it. Softly and silently it covers the last of the rusty old leaves in the gutters and curbs, the stained driveways and the potholed roads. Similarly, it seems to cover all the pain and disappointment of the past year, sending the heavenly message, “See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:19)

The year my husband and I lost both our moms we had great hopes for Christmas snow. Could it obscure those lingering, haunting memories of their last days on earth and leave only the good ones? Could it bring back my little-girl memories of making snow ice cream with my mom in our kitchen in Tennessee? Could it remind my husband of coming into his Colorado home, his mittens frozen from building snowmen, to his mom’s steaming hot cocoa with marshmallows?

Could it even bring us memories of my mom arriving at our frosty airport in her smart tweed suit, or of his mom coming up the snowy walk for Christmas dinner in her red coat, a bowl of homemade cranberry sauce in hand? We don’t question their joyful existence now near the heavenly “storehouses of the snow” (Job 38:22), but this time of year we sure miss our moms.

On Christmas morning we will celebrate the fact that God, in His great love for the people He created, sent His only Son to live among us, breathe our air, and close the gap sin created between us and God for eternity. If the fresh, white snow arrives, it will remind me that someday, only because of the grace and mercy God bestows on me, I will stand before Him in a spotless robe as white as snow. (Rev. 7:9-14)

The Christmas snow may come this year. If so, will you let it speak to you? Have a blessed and merry Christmas.

Holiday Transitions

November 24, 2015 by Nancy 15 Comments

As the leftover items from our yard sale were loaded into a big truck to be donated to a worthwhile charity this past summer, it wasn’t seeing doll furniture or well-loved dishes disappearing through the big open doors on the side of the truck that made me cry. It was the big straw turkey that had been a part of our Thanksgiving decorations for many years. He seemed to be looking at me saying, “What did I do? Didn’t I faithfully sit on your front porch through all kinds of weather? And I have to tell you, that pumpkin rotting next to me didn’t smell so good either!”

But he had to go because we were “downsizing.” Not only did I think there wouldn’t be a spot for him on our new front porch, I didn’t think we would want to store him the other 11 months of the year. Bye-bye turkey.

That’s just one of the holiday tradition transitions that we’ll be experiencing this year. With every move the question is always asked: Where will we put the Christmas tree in this new house? After a move like ours, the question will more likely be: Do we still have a tree? If so, where is it? And did we keep those dangling icicle lights or did we toss them?

Changes in holiday traditions can be unsettling. There’s comfort in knowing the fall leaves, pumpkins and gourds always go on the mantel at Thanksgiving, and the nativity set is always set up on the buffet in the dining room for Christmas. But what if you move to a home without a mantel? What if you sold the buffet at auction and got a pitiful amount for it? (Sorry, touchy subject there.)

I know I’ll enjoy decorating our new, smaller home for the holidays this year, and I will appreciate our decorations even more because they survived the move. Due to sentimental attachment or simple oversight, whatever we have now wasn’t culled, so decorating will be like introducing old friends to our new home. I’ll try to focus not on what has changed, but on what will never change.

Gone is the big oak dining table with three leaves that expanded to ten feet long. Yet no matter who sits around our smaller Thanksgiving table this year, we’ll still have warm memories of all the faces who’ve been around our table in years past. We’ll still get a lump in our throats when each person shares what he or she is most grateful for this year, and we’ll still praise God and thank Him for all the blessings He bestows on us day after day—including the opportunity to downsize.

When Christmas rolls around our cat, Molly, will still take up residence under the tree. We’ll still have the crèches and tree ornaments that remind us of the reason for the season: For to us a child is born, to us a son is given…And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). My husband will still say that “Mary, Did You Know?” is his favorite Christmas song, and singing “Silent Night” by candlelight on Christmas Eve will still bring tears to my eyes. Yes, there will be changes and transitions this holiday season, but the people we love will seem even dearer, and the God we serve will still be sovereign over all. The best things in life transition well.

Family Markers

November 11, 2015 by Nancy 24 Comments

My sisters and I had a unique and humbling experience recently. We were asked by citizens of a neighborhood in Knoxville, TN, where I grew up, to attend the dedication of a historical marker erected in honor of some of our French-Swiss ancestors who settled in East Tennessee in the mid-1800s. Alongside the marker was an old mill grindstone, donated by our family.

My great-grandparents, Alfred and Elisa Buffat, founded the Buffat Mill which became the largest grist mill south of the Ohio River. Like other families of French-Swiss immigrants, they settled in the valleys of East Tennessee, close to the Appalachian Mountains, because the region reminded them of their home in Switzerland. The site for the grist mill was by a creek that still runs through the property today.

In 1976 my father donated some of the land he had inherited to the county for the establishment of a neighborhood park. It was in this park, by the creek, that the ceremony dedicating the marker was held on a drizzly day the end of October.

My sister Mary, Knox County Mayor Tim Birchett, and me. — My sister Mary, Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett, and me.

As I sat there with my sisters, listening to the mayor speak about the importance of community and legacy, I was fighting back tears. I knew how very proud my dad would be that his grandparents were being honored in this way. And I was proud of him for all he did to preserve their legacy. “You won’t know where you are going if you don’t know where you’ve been,” he would tell my sisters and me as he launched into another history lesson about our family. We would roll our eyes, impatient to go outside and play.

At some point the stone was moved to the front yard of our family home where it sat for decades surrounded by flowers and shrubbery until my sister Mary arranged for it to be donated this year. “I remember sitting on the stone eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich on days Mom would pack my lunch and send me on an adventure,” my sister Patty said. Now we sat looking at the stone in its place of honor.

Although I wrote a book about my great-grandmother Elisa in 2000, The Journey of Elisa, I don’t feel I’ve done enough to pass family history down to my own kids and grandkids, and I vow to look for more opportunities to do so. After all, don’t they deserve a chance to roll their eyes at me?

My friend Jan Keller, publisher of The Country Register, came up with a creative way to share family history. She and her husband visited the homestead of her pioneering ancestors in Eastern Colorado. The homestead once included an old rock well house and a windmill. Collecting a few of the rocks now scattered on the ground, she gave one to each grandchild for Christmas along with a little book telling them about their great-great-great grandparents! Jan said, “I told them their Grandpa Joe touched those rocks many times as he built the homestead, and now they have one they can touch.”

If Jan and I have such “family markers” in our families, surely you do also. If necessary do some research and learn stories about ancestors that you can share with those who follow you. There could be a grindstone or an old rock well house in your family’s history, too. Or perhaps your family markers include a productive farm or a grocery store that sustained a community for generations. Regardless, we all have family markers, and they are all worth remembering.

View a YouTube video of Nancy talking about The Journey of Elisa in 2011 here:

A Door With a Story

September 19, 2015 by Nancy 14 Comments

We just moved to a new house and I was so happy that we inherited a refrigerator with a magnet-friendly door from the past owners. No sterile, stainless steel, magnet-resistant fridge door for me. No sir! Centuries from now when archeologists dig around to learn more about our culture, I’m convinced it won’t be the computers at Norad nor the Space Center in Houston that will attract most of their attention. No, rather they’ll all gather around tables examining decayed construction paper or bits of ceramic magnets as they attempt to understand the hub of communication in our society—the refrigerator door.

Whenever I’m a guest in someone’s home I love gazing at their refrigerator door because that spot, more than any other, tells the story of their family. Families with young children have the most colorful and crowded refrigerator doors, with construction paper art, magnetic alphabet letters, and reminders about school activities, dental appointments, or soccer games. (Thanks to daughter-in-law Abigail McConnell for sending the photo of their family refrigerator above!)

For years I didn’t have any watercolor ponies or construction paper ladybugs on my refrigerator, and I really missed them. Finally, the grandkids were old enough to create refrigerator art for us. Then fairy princesses with ruffly dresses and long eyelashes and stick people families were held in place on our refrigerator by magnets reading, “My Grandchild Did This.” Heaven forbid a grandchild who visited us then didn’t see one of his or her creations hung in the refriga-gallery.

Given the use of refrigerators as art galleries and message centers, it’s no wonder refrigerator magnets are such hot-selling items in gift shops across the country. I gave up long ago trying to have any sort of design theme with mine, although I understand collectors of certain types of magnets are very serious about their choices. Magnet-backed photo holders are often my choice. We have one whole side of our refrigerator dedicated to family photos in magnet-backed acrylic frames, and our adult children still check to make sure they are well represented when they visit. It’s almost as if they believe if they aren’t on the refrigerator, they might not still exist. Otherwise our magnet assortment includes a few hummingbirds with broken beaks, a ceramic taco, message magnets reading, “Some Bunny Loves You” and “Slow me down, Lord,” and lots of advertisements for everything from pizza to dry cleaning. The archeologists will be hard put to understand what mattered most to us when they dig all this up!

On our old fridge, magnets that weren’t used for artwork held up invitations to special events, cartoons we particularly liked, or newspaper clippings. (I knew I was a real newspaper columnist when someone told me she had clipped one of my columns and put it on her refrigerator. Wow! Whatever else I write, I’ve already earned my spot in the annals of our civilization.)

All our magnets went into a plastic sandwich bag when we moved, so our recently acquired fridge is a “blank page” at this point. But this fall I’m sure I’ll post schedules of our favorite football teams and grandkids’ sporting events. From there the story will continue. What about you? What story does your refrigerator door tell about your life and your family? Make it a good one.

This blog post also appeared in an issue of The Country Register in the US and Canada. Pick up a copy at your local antique or crafts store!

Why Resist a Rest?

September 9, 2015 by Nancy 13 Comments

On the route I take for my morning walk there are several inviting places to sit and rest. Comfortable benches, picnic tables, big flat rocks…all seem to say, “Stop and rest awhile.” Yet unless I need to tie a shoelace I seldom stop. Why not? I am there for the exercise, it’s true, but won’t I still take the same number of steps if I take just a minute or two to sit quietly and absorb the beautiful mountain views? Why do I tend to resist a rest?

Rest is critical to our well-being and ability to function in this world. And it’s vitally important for those who are grieving. A close friend of mine recently lost her father. She has gone on a relaxing trip with her husband simply to rest. To read if she can. To gaze at a river flowing on its course. Just to rest. Such rest is necessary if we are to allow the Holy Spirit to sift through the memories we have of a departed loved one and separate the painful ones from the joyful ones, the ones that will bring us comfort in the days to come. To grieve well, we must rest well.

In fact, in Matthew 6:28 Jesus suggests we can put much of life into perspective if we will simply “consider the lilies of the field.” This time of year the lilies in the fields of Colorado are the wild Black-eyed Susans. Jesus didn’t say, “stop and consider the lilies if you need to tie your shoe.” He said intentionally noticing and appreciating them will reduce my worries and remind me that my real treasure is stored up in heaven. I can’t really understand that message unless I rest in it.

I find fall invigorating. Maybe it’s because my biological clock is still set to the beginning of the school year—and because I still love sharp pencils, clean notebooks, and new shoes! Yet it’s a busy time for so many moms, dads, and kids. I sense the buzzing all around me wherever I go, and I just want to say, “Take a deep breath, and make time to rest.”

Our elders can also find rest elusive, for any number of reasons. Some of them just feel “bone tired” as my mother would say. They are worn out by life in general, and by how difficult it can be to do the things they used to do so easily. In my senior devotional The Hope of Glory, I encourage these seniors to ask the Lord to give them the rest they need. He promises He will in Matthew 11:28 when He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

On my next walk, I’m going to take time to sit a spell. I will consider the lilies. I will not resist a rest. What about you?