Back Porch Break

Savoring Summer

July 28, 2014 by Nancy 10 Comments

Why is it that even though summer days are longer in terms of sunlight, they seem to slip by so much faster than winter days? Each year it seems like summer is gone before I’ve fully embraced it, leaving me to say, “But wait! I was going to go to the pool more. Hold on! We didn’t go to any summer concerts under the stars!”

Summer won’t wait. While we still have some of it left, let’s get serious about savoring every single bit of summer we can salvage! Here are some things I still want to do. How about you?

Visit a farmer’s market. Even if you’re traveling and can only pick up a few apples or carrots to snack on in the car, take time to stroll through local markets wherever you are and experience the sights and smells of locally grown produce, herbs, and flowers. I’ve been brought to tears by the sight of fresh green beans in Maryland and avocadoes in California. Add whatever you find at your local market to your family’s dinner menu. Fresh always tastes better!

Take advantage of free festivals, concerts or theater in the park, parades, and street performances. It only takes a little extra effort to log on to community websites and find out what’s happening where. A folding camp chair and cool beverage is all you need to add—but you have to remember to show up! Write upcoming events on your calendar and go.

At least once, walk through the grass barefooted. I don’t care how old you are, it’s not summer unless you’ve felt cool, damp grass between your toes. If you can run through the sprinkler, too, so much the better! The neighbors might wonder about your sanity if you don’t have any grandkids or neighbor children with you, but who cares? It’s summer, after all!

Find a shady spot and move a favorite chair into it so you can enjoy reading outside. Even better, plop down on a porch swing or hammock. Forget about the recommended reading lists and “must read” book club selections. Read something that relaxes you and soothes your soul. Doze at will.

Eat outside as often as possible. If bugs are a problem where you live, find a screened in porch. Whether the fare is grilled burgers or cool summer soups and salads, dining al fresco is what summer is all about. Don’t miss out this year.

Whether you take a vacation or a stay-cation, may you savor summer in a million little ways. If we love it while it lasts, the memories will make us smile during the winter days to come. Happy summer!

Leaning In

June 23, 2014 by Nancy 16 Comments

Recently I scanned portions of the highly popular book Lean In, written by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook who is listed on Fortune’s list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business. I liked what she had to say a lot more than I expected. After all, if you are going to give 8-10 hours a day to your career, shouldn’t you be fully engaged? Shouldn’t you make sure your good ideas are heard, and that your intelligence shows?
I say yes, and so I recommend the book to women still in the corporate world who want to get rid of internal barriers and fully and confidently engage in their work. I can recommend the book because Ms. Sandberg also wisely dispels the myth that women can have it all at once. Make your choices, ladies. If you choose to work in the corporate world, take a place at the table, speak up, and lean in.
What I realized after scanning this book, however, is how grateful I am not to have to do the corporate leaning in thing anymore. The older you are, the clearer your view of what matters in life. That sort of leaning in was important for a season, yes, but I now have more important reasons to lean in.
For instance, I lean in to hear what my husband is saying to me in a crowded restaurant. What if it’s a term of endearment I miss? It’s not enough to nod and smile at him across the table. I want to really know what he thinks, feels, and wants to express at this time in our life together. So I lean in.
I also don’t want to miss an opportunity to stoop down and lean in to the tear-stained face of a child who is upset by one of life’s injustices. What could be more valuable than helping that little soul feel heard, even if the injustice simply can’t be rectified? So I lean in.
Staying physically strong is vital to finishing strong in life, so I walk around our hilly neighborhood. I often laugh to myself when I remember the advice of running guru Jim Fixx, who said that when you are going up a hill you should lean in and pretend you are a tiger on all fours! I don’t feel much like a tiger, but I lean in and keep going, no matter how steep the slope.
Once I started thinking about good reasons to lean in, the list just kept growing! Lean in to smell the flowers and breathe deeply. Lean in to an infant carrier and admire a newborn. Lean in to share a prayer with an elderly friend. And of course, as the old hymn says, there’s joy and comfort in doing all this while leaning on the everlasting arms of God. Life is precious. Let’s all lean in and live it fully!

Sunrise Hope at Easter

April 17, 2014 by Nancy 12 Comments

No wonder so many people love to attend Easter sunrise services. A sunrise represents hope, and so it is the perfect representation of the hope we find in the message of Easter.

Few events can be counted on to occur day after day, but the rising of the sun is one of them. Even on a cloudy day, when the heat and light of the sun may be minimized, we can still see that the sun did indeed rise once again!

And how grateful we are for the blessing of the sun in our lives. Without it, we would be in perpetual darkness. Without it, plant life on the earth, including the flowers and trees that bring us so much joy, would shrivel and die. All the beauty we look forward to this time of year when spring begins to bloom would cease to exist. In fact, all of life would eventually disappear from the earth, all because we lost the sun.

Our life on earth is marked by the number of sunrises and sunsets we experience, but do we really experience them? Do we appreciate the sun and the majesty of the Creation that allows it to shine day after day, or do we take it for granted? The first rays of a sunrise are subtle at best. Slowly the darkness begins to fade as the sun makes its way toward the horizon, but then as the giant orb of fire climbs up into view the entire sky changes color. The sunrise can look different each and every day, but because we can count on it to happen without fail, it’s a wonderful symbol for the hope we have in Jesus Christ—the hope that is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19).

It was a dark, bleak day when Jesus was crucified on the cross—the worst day His followers had ever known. And yet when the grieving women ran to the tomb early in the morning of the third day, after the sun had risen, they were greeted with the glorious news of the resurrection! Praise God we can be sure that those who believe in His Son will also know the glory of everlasting life. We can be even more certain of that than we are of the sunrise! For no matter what darkness our life holds, one day we will be bathed in the light of heaven forever.

The next time we are blessed to watch a sunrise, and especially on Easter morning, we should bask in the hope that it represents. It’s a hope that never fades, and never disappoints.

Redefining Love

February 13, 2014 by Nancy 14 Comments

I remember the Valentine’s Day in elementary school I dumped all the valentines out of my construction-paper covered shoebox and counted them. When I realized I got the same number as everyone else in the class, no more and no less, the valentines lost their meaning.

“They had to give me these valentines,” I thought. “It doesn’t mean anyone really loves me.”

Maybe your kids will come home this week feeling less than loved because their bags of valentines were just like everyone else’s, or they didn’t receive all the valentines they wanted.

Psychologist Myrna Shure, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Hahnemann University in Philadelphia, urges parents to deal with such disappointments by helping children to talk about what they like about the valentine givers instead of the valentines, and to focus on the valentines they did get—not the ones they didn’t.

These are good suggestions, yet they overlook the opportunity parents in this situation have to teach kids three truths about love: First, love sometimes hurts. Second, love also heals. And third, there are many different kinds of love.

These truths are often obscured by the hype of Valentine’s Day. Each year Americans celebrate the holiday by sending over a billion cards and 60 to 70 million roses. All this emphasis on romance and the idealization of perfect relationships can lead children to believe falsely that love is all hearts and flowers.

Yet the young woman facing the break-up of a relationship or marriage knows love hurts. The parent whose child has taken a destructive path on the way to adulthood knows love hurts. The 80-year-old watching a beloved spouse slip into the fog of Alzheimer’s knows love hurts.

Children need to understand that love can hurt so they will learn to appreciate that love can also heal. A hug and a listening ear are signs of love’s healing power at work at any age. Kids need to experience both often.

They also need to learn to recognize the many different faces of love. Charlie Brown will return from the mailbox empty-handed if that little, curly red-haired girl rejects him again, but he will go home to a family that provides for him and a dog that accepts him just the way he is. He is loved.

The single man or woman whose friends call and want to get together is loved. So is the big sister whose little brother waits patiently by the door for her to get home from school so she can play with him.

We need to encourage our children to continue seeking and celebrating love in all forms, in spite of the pain it may bring, because of the incredible power it has to make life worth living.

Leo Buscaglia, in his book Living, Loving & Learning, writes, “I’m really convinced that if you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be ‘life.’ Love is life in all of its aspects. And if you miss love, you miss life. Please don’t.”

This week our pastor reminded us of the greatest truth about love: Loving God first makes it possible for us to love ourselves and love others (Matthew 22:37). Tell the kids, and believe it yourself. Love is much bigger than Valentine’s Day.

Happy Fresh Year!

January 2, 2014 by Nancy 16 Comments

New snow. The first rays of dawn. A crisp apple. We appreciate all these things and more because they are fresh—unspoiled and full of promise. Should we appreciate this fresh, new year any less?

The problem many of us have is not how to appreciate the freshness of the new year, but how to keep it fresh. A diet that includes plenty of healthy fruits and vegetables is always a good idea, but that alone won’t sustain freshness. No amount of Tupperware® or Saran Wrap® will do the job either. We have to make a conscious effort to keep things fresh all year long—beginning with our own attitudes.

What comes to mind when you think of celebrating and sustaining freshness in your life? I’ll list just a few thoughts in hopes of motivating you to think of more:

Fresh marriage. My husband and I celebrated 25 wonderful years together last summer, but I never want to take God’s gift of a second, redemptive marriage for granted. I’m going to look for ways to keep our love fresh as we move toward a time of life neither of us has experienced before—to be open to new places, energizing experiences, and innovative living arrangements.

Fresh work. I’m writing a new book: a creative exercise with all the joys and angst of birthing a baby. I want to keep my work fresh—to use more primary resources and less of my tried-and-true secondary ones. To think thoughts I’ve never had and use vivid, descriptive words so that I deliver a fresh manuscript to the publisher by the April deadline, not a stale one.

Fresh friendship. This year I want to be totally present with friends old and new. To truly listen when they speak and find a fresh level of intimacy with each one. Friendship is a treasure to cherish—and keep fresh.

Fresh faith. A new year means beginning a new daily devotional, but what else will be fresh about my faith? According to Isaiah 43:18-19, we can always count on the Lord to bring freshness and renewal. The Lord said through Isaiah, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?” I don’t want to miss any fresh, new thing the Lord wants to do in me this year. In fact, I want to recapture the freshness of the hour I first believed.

How about you? How will you keep 2014 fresh until the last day of December? May you have a happy, healthy new year—and may it stay fresh!

Bethlehem Bound

December 22, 2013 by Nancy 10 Comments

I recently read that the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem is being restored after 600 years, and was reminded of this column from a few years ago. Merry Christmas to you, wherever the Lord leads you!

Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened…Luke 2:15

How often we look back on the way God orchestrated something in our lives, something so totally opposite from what we had planned, and say, “But, of course, it had to be just as it was.” Such was the case when Mary and Joseph traveled over rugged trails into Judea to the little town of Bethlehem. Certainly Mary didn’t expect to be having a baby so soon, and definitely not so far from home. But the journey fulfilled prophecy, for it is recorded in Micah 5:2: “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel.”

Surely the shepherds didn’t expect to be visited by a heavenly host that starry night either–nor to travel to Bethlehem to worship a newborn King.

As Christmas comes this year, the question on our hearts needs to be “Where are you leading me, Lord? What plans do you have for me that I don’t even know about yet?” When we ask those questions sincerely, we can celebrate Christmas Bethlehem bound, ready to go where He leads and ready to humbly worship at the feet of our Lord.

My husband and I were privileged to travel to Israel in 1998 and Bethlehem was one of the stops along our way. We were somewhat surprised by what we found there—not the idyllic scene portrayed on greeting cards, but an enormous, ornate Greek Orthodox church, the Church of the Nativity, built over the spot where Jesus was said to have been born. Pilgrims to Bethlehem step down cavernous steps inside this church into a small enclosure made even closer by the many tapestries and incense-burning lamps hanging all around. In turn, each traveler gets down on hands and knees to peer into a grotto of sorts where a 14-pointed star is embedded in the floor to “mark the spot” where Jesus was born. Jewish tradition ensures this spot is accurate, but it’s now so different from what it once was—and from what we expected.

At another stop along our tour, we saw a typical manger from the time of Jesus’ birth. It was not a wooden structure filled with hay, but a chiseled stone watering trough. Thinking of these things now, I realize there’s no better time than Christmas to set aside all our preconceived ideas. Rather than celebrate just as we always have, let’s open our hearts to the plans the Lord has for us this Christmas. Like Mary and Joseph may we be, in heart and spirit, Bethlehem bound.

(Painting shown is “Adoration of the Shepherds” by Rembrandt.)

Hay Fever

November 7, 2013 by Nancy 13 Comments

Some aromas permeate our childhood memories like vanilla in cookie dough or yeast in cinnamon buns. They come to mind as surely and sweetly as secrets sisters share growing up. For me, one of those fragrances is the scent of freshly mowed hay in the fall—the last cutting of the year. Call me a hayseed if you’d like, but from an early age I’ve had the best kind of hay fever.

I grew up on a non-working farm in East Tennessee, meaning that farming wasn’t how our family earned our living. But we lived in a big white farmhouse with a screened-in porch that was surrounded by pastures. We also had a large red barn and a couple of horses, and throughout the years of my childhood owned an assortment of dogs, cats, chickens, rabbits, pigs and one notorious goat named Billy (of course). Billy had to quickly find another home after he ate 12 blossoms off my mother’s prized geranium one Sunday while we were at church!

Even as a tiny girl I remember “hay-cutting day” as a time of excitement in our home. My two sisters and I would hear the big combine lumbering down the two-lane road toward our house before we saw it, but we already knew it was time for the hay to be mowed because of the aromas emanating from the kitchen.

My grandmother lived with us, and on hay-cutting day she took it upon herself to cook a big pot of pinto beans for the workmen to have for lunch—along with cornbread baked in a cast-iron skillet. Once a whiff of those two dishes cooking at the same time wafted upstairs, even the sleepiest heads woke up early on a Saturday morning so as not to miss Granny’s home cooking.

Even now on road trips I never fail to notice baled hay in pastures we pass. The bales we watched roll out of the hay-baler in my childhood were the traditional, rectangular box shape—easy to store in the barn for feeding the horses over the winter. But my favorites now are the big circular bales like the ones above that I photographed on our family property in Tennessee last month. I even spied some in Tuscany when we were there a few years ago. Much to my husband’s amusement, I often want to photograph hay bales. No other sculpture speaks to me the same way.

My sister-in-law Mary, since deceased, was an excellent horsewoman and the only person I’ve ever known who was a hay connoisseur. If we were stuck behind a truck full of hay on the highway I might be frustrated wondering how to get around it, but Mary would be assessing the quality of the hay on the truck and whether she would feed it to the horses in her care.

So now seeing hay reminds me of a cherished sister-in-law as well as my childhood home in Tennessee. No wonder I have hay fever.

Falling for Fall

September 26, 2013 by Nancy 18 Comments

Fall is here in all its glory. With each leaf that swirls and floats toward the ground, I’m reminded of what a wonderful time of year this is to make a change. Whether the change is monumental or so small only you know the difference, it can have lasting benefits. Here are some fall-inspired ideas to get you started:

Fall in to a recliner and just relax for a change! Watch some football. Make sure there’s a big bowl of popcorn within reach. If you really must feel more productive, add a holiday craft project to the game plan. But if you just want to sit and watch football, do it guiltlessly. Football has value beyond the entertainment it provides; the NFL donates a lot of money to charity!

Fall out of bed a half hour earlier and take a walk around the block. Soon you’ll be buried under a comforter listening to announcements of wind chill factors and school closings. Take advantage of the cool, crisp mornings to clear your head…and work off some of the popcorn you ate watching football.

Fall in to a huge pile of leaves and just lie there looking up at the blue sky and cloud formations. No leaves in your yard? Show up at a friend’s house with a rake and volunteer to help for the pure joy of having a pile of leaves all to yourself. (Don’t pick your over-achieving friends. They won’t understand.)

Fall in love. If you’re married, fall in love with your spouse all over again. Taking five minutes to make a list of things that first attracted you to him or her is a great place to start. Focus only on those things for a week, and before you know it, you’re head over heels again. No love interest at the moment? Fall in love with an adopted kitten or puppy. Their love is unconditional, and they’ll always be around for a snuggle on a blustery evening.

Fall out of line. I’m not recommending anything illegal or immoral, just out of the ordinary. Take a new route to work. Shop at a different grocery store. Read a book by an unknown author. Be less predictable. No one will really care, and you may find out you’ve been in the wrong line anyway.

Fall in over your head. Immerse yourself in something you’ve only dipped a toe into until now. Maybe it’s a dream, a relationship, a foreign language, or a career you’ve wanted to pursue. Fall is a great time to dive in fearlessly.

Fall out of your comfort zone. Reach out to those less fortunate, less recognized, less socially desirable, than most of the people you know. Do at least one thing to make the world a better place.
It’s fall…time to make a change for all seasons.

Consider the Lilies

September 6, 2013 by Nancy 18 Comments

Each week I have the pleasure of walking around this lake with two good friends. Recently our vistas have been brightened by the appearance of wild Black-eyed Susans. I haven’t been in Israel when the wild lilies of the field are in bloom, but I can’t imagine they could be more beautiful than this, our Colorado version.

When those yellow faces start appearing in August, I’m always reminded of August, 1977, when I first moved to Colorado. We lived just to the right of this lake, but none of the area behind the lake was developed then so there were open fields near our house. I took a whole roll of film (remember film?) of my two boys and our golden retriever running through the Black-eyed Susans in those fields.

Of course, I also thought we were all going to die in Colorado that August, because, coming from Tennessee, I didn’t know about the way the wind swept across the plains. One day the wind was blowing so hard that it was lifting my drapes straight out and off the hooks. I closed all the windows to keep the wind out, but it was hot and we didn’t have air-conditioning. That’s when I was just sure we were all going to suffocate! But I’ve adapted well to the creative Colorado weather in 36 years, and would miss it if I lived anywhere else.

The appearance of the Black-eyed Susans also always reminds me of Jesus’ teaching on simplifying life. In Matthew 6:28-29 (KJV) we read His words: “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” I love this so much I used it as the theme verse for a chapter titled “Simply Consider” in the book I wrote about my own simplification journey, Simply the Savior.

When our hearts yearn for a simpler way of life than the one the world seems to demand that we live, there is perhaps no better way for us to begin the simplification process than to consider the lilies. Author and theologian Richard J. Foster, in his book Freedom of Simplicity, refers to Matthew 6 as “the most radiant passage on Christian simplicity in all the Bible.” It’s impossible to overstate the effect that taking these verses in Matthew’s Gospel to heart can have on our ability to simplify our lives.

If we simply consider the lilies, suddenly we feel the pressure to attain and achieve being lifted from our shoulders and our hearts. If they don’t toil and spin, why should we? It’s easier to draw lines through many of the tasks on our to-do lists after we consider the lilies. And it’s easier to exchange worrying for trusting.

So simply consider the lilies. And if you live in Colorado, get out and walk among them!

First Day of School

August 23, 2013 by Nancy 11 Comments

Years ago I wrote this column about our oldest grandchild starting first grade. I blinked, and this year she’s a senior in college! May the first day of school be a good start for all kids everywhere.

Is there anything more exciting than the first day of school? This is the excitement born of freshly sharpened pencils, crisp paper in a shiny new notebook, and a backpack of possibilities. As parents and grandparents we send our children out the door so equipped and hope and pray that this year all their teachers will see their lovable qualities and overlook the rest.

I shared in the excitement last year because my oldest granddaughter was beginning first grade. I was so excited for her I could hardly sleep the night before her first day of school. As I tossed and turned, I tried to think of just the right words to use when I called to encourage her the next morning. I wanted to say something that would give her confidence and build her self-esteem without putting undue pressure on her.

Finally, it was time to get up and place the call. Even though I called at 7 a.m., Francesca was already dressed and waiting for the school bus.

“Hi, Francesca,” I began. “I bet you’re excited this morning!” She said she was, so I launched into my premeditated words of encouragement.

“I know you’re going to do well,” I said. “You’re bright, you’re talented, and you’re a hard worker, aren’t you?”

“And,” Francesca responded excitedly, “I’m wearing bright yellow socks!”

“That should clench it then,” I said as I realized that from her six-year-old perspective she had absolutely everything she needed. My husband and I had a good laugh when I repeated her comment to him, but later I started thinking more seriously about those bright yellow socks.

How little it takes to encourage children, and how sad it is when kids have to go to school without breakfast or a pat on the back, not to mention new socks.

Francesca has a chance to get off on the right foot for her coming 16 years of education because she has two parents who love her, believe in her, and will do all they can to make sure she has whatever she needs. That just isn’t the case for so many kids in America today.

Clothes don’t make the man, the woman, or the first-grader, but shouldn’t every child know the excitement of new school clothes at least once? Hand me downs are fine for the rest of the year, but not for the first day of school.

I made a vow to contribute to the next charity collecting funds to buy coats for school children, and decided to buy more lottery tickets. After all, if I won all that money, I could go out and buy bright yellow socks for everyone!

(Photo is of grandsons Liam and Peter in 2011.)