Back Porch Break

Love Like Josh

January 12, 2022 by Nancy 53 Comments

I’m not sure I can write about this but it’s become clear that until I do, I won’t be able to write much of anything. Beyond heartbreaking to us was the loss of our grandson, Joshua James Beller, on September 4^th of last year. Josh was born with cerebral palsy and lived to be almost sixteen before he simply didn’t wake up on that sunny, fall morning. It seemed as if God said, “This boy’s had enough and I’m bringing him home.” While we rejoice that Josh is with Jesus and free of his earthly body, the shock and grief of losing him continues to be a part of each day.

It’s so true that grief and relief are close companions. Some days, at unexpected times, it just washes over me that Josh is missing from our family and the tears come. Other days relief springs up, reminding me that he doesn’t have to struggle with his inability to talk or walk anymore.

Joelle and Will at the grand reopening of Wolverine Wake Up

What helped our family so much was the amazing support of the community of Parker, CO. Josh was a sophomore at Chaparral High School there and part of an inspiring group of special needs students. The day before he passed away, he applied for and got a job at the school’s Wolverine Wake Up Coffee Bar. With the help of his language therapist, Josh was able to respond to the interview questions on his computerized “talker.” Since it could also be programmed so Josh could push a button to say, “Hi, I’m Josh, welcome to Wolverine Wake Up,” Josh got the job as greeter! By all reports he came home that day so proud and excited that he had a job.

Word spread rapidly through the school that Josh had passed away. The Significant Special Needs Class decided to wear green T-shirts, the color denoting cerebral palsy, the following Thursday. Soon the whole high school decided to wear green to their ballgames that week to honor Josh. Then one of Chap’s competing high schools, Legend, heard about Josh and they all wore green to their ballgames too!

When Josh’s mom, Joelle, and his older brother, Charlie, went over to the volleyball game that Thursday night, the Chap Superfans began chanting, “Love like Josh! Love like Josh!” and friends of Josh’s twin brother, Will, wore green T-shirts with “Love like Josh” printed on the back. Later more T-shirts and wrist bands saying “Love like Josh” were created and sold in Josh’s memory to raise funds for The Cerebral Palsy Foundation.

Beyond the school, neighbors offered housing to us, brought food, and openly shared their stories of how much Josh meant to them. He inspired all who knew him to be the best they could be because he worked so hard at being the best Josh he could be each and every day. As a friend wrote to us, “Josh developed the fruit of the Spirit in everyone in his family, and that is his legacy” (Galatians 5:22-23). Clearly, that’s so true.

Our favorite photo of Josh with Charlie, taken by Will in 2017

And of course, from the first moment until now, God has been ever present, offering comfort and hope in the midst of our despair. He gifted Joelle with a beautiful vision of Josh in heaven, standing behind a bright light and pointing down while saying, “Mom! This is Him! This is Jesus! He’s right here!” He continues to comfort us every moment of this journey with the peace of God which passeth all understanding (Philippians 4:7 KJV).

I know without a doubt that when I get to heaven a handsome young man is going to walk up to me and say, “Hi, Grancy,” and I’ll know it’s Josh. I’m saving my first dance for him.

We miss you and love you, Josh. And we will do our best to “Love like Josh” the rest of our days.

Bethlehem Bound

December 23, 2021 by Nancy 12 Comments

I haven’t been able to write lately, but I’m hoping for rejuvenation in the new year to introduce this new website and The Hope of Glory, Volume II, coming out in March! Meanwhile, here is a Back Porch Break Christmas Classic along with my sincere hope that you and yours have a blessed and Merry Christmas!

Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened…Luke 2:15

How often we look back on the way God orchestrated something in our lives, something so totally opposite from what we had planned, and say, “But, of course, it had to be just as it was.” Such was the case when Mary and Joseph traveled over rugged trails into Judea to the little town of Bethlehem. Certainly Mary didn’t expect to be having a baby so soon, and definitely not so far from home. But the journey fulfilled prophecy, for it is recorded in Micah 5:2: “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel.”

Surely the shepherds didn’t expect to be visited by a heavenly host that starry night either–nor to travel to Bethlehem to worship a newborn King.

As Christmas comes this year, the question on our hearts needs to be “Where are you leading me, Lord? What plans do you have for me that I don’t even know about yet?” When we ask those questions sincerely, we can celebrate Christmas Bethlehem bound, ready to go where He leads and ready to humbly worship at the feet of our Lord.

My husband and I were privileged to travel to Israel in 1998 and Bethlehem was one of the stops along our way. We were somewhat surprised by what we found there—not the idyllic scene portrayed on greeting cards, but an enormous, ornate Greek Orthodox church, the Church of the Nativity, built over the spot where Jesus was said to have been born. Pilgrims to Bethlehem step down cavernous steps inside this church into a small enclosure made even closer by the many tapestries and incense-burning lamps hanging all around. In turn, each traveler gets down on hands and knees to peer into a grotto of sorts where a 14-pointed star is embedded in the floor to “mark the spot” where Jesus was born. Jewish tradition ensures this spot is accurate, but it’s now so different from what it once was—and from what we expected.

At another stop along our tour, we saw a typical manger from the time of Jesus’ birth. It was not a wooden structure filled with hay, but a chiseled stone watering trough. Thinking of these things now, I realize there’s no better time than Christmas to set aside all our preconceived ideas. Rather than celebrate just as we always have, let’s open our hearts to the plans the Lord has for us this Christmas. Like Mary and Joseph may we be, in heart and spirit, Bethlehem bound.

(Painting shown is “Adoration of the Shepherds” by Rembrandt.)

Make it Mine

October 12, 2021 by Nancy 25 Comments

This is my forty-fourth fall living in Colorado. Forty-four years of aspen gaspin’ drives and hikes through the golden glow of quaking aspen. Yet I have to say this year’s hike may be the most memorable. Once you hike a trail you can stake a claim to it! I’m glad I made this one mine.

Friends had clipped a description of the Vindicator Valley Trail from the Colorado Springs Gazette a while ago—one of the finds from adventure reporter Seth Boster. They invited us to join them so we set out on a partly overcast, breezy but nice fall day toward the historic mining town of Victor, Colorado.

The trail was easy to find just off County Road 81 and has been well maintained by the nonprofits that support it. As advertised, it not only provides gorgeous vistas of aspen, but also educational discoveries at every turn as hikers stop to read the historical markers and see the remains of gold mines that saw their glory days in the late 1800s.

The two-mile hike up hill and down at 10,200 feet in elevation did exercise my body, but it was my imagination that got the best workout. I had forgotten how many of the old mines were named for women, and I couldn’t help but wonder who these women were, and how they felt about having a gold mine named after them.

Was Theresa someone’s beloved wife, perhaps a mail order bride from back East who responded to an ad to marry a rich gold miner out West? Or did the miner who went into Victor to file his claim slap a piece of gold ore on the bar and tell the barmaid in her flouncy skirt and bustier (like Miss Kitty in Gunsmoke), “I just found me some gold, Theresa! And I’m naming the mine after you!” How would she have responded as she poured whiskey into the glass he held in his gritty hands? And did he expect something in return? Without doing a lot more research, I can only imagine.

Maybe Annie J. was the darling granddaughter of a mine supervisor. A little girl with golden curls who loved to visit the mine with her grandpa, her little hand in his, as he checked on the day’s yield. And what about Glorietta? Was she someone’s grandma known for her beans and biscuits, or a sister who died too young from consumption? Surely Lillie was a dance hall performer. Or not. I’d love to know.

At the end of the trail we were amused to find a sign with an oft used miner’s toast: “May you stand in ore and your labors be in vein.” And may you venture out on Vindicator Valley Trail yourself some golden aspen day. It’s a wonderful reminder of what’s still good about living in Colorado. You may want to include visits to nearby Victor and Cripple Creek, too. Make the golden adventure yours.

Planting with Purpose

June 10, 2021 by Nancy 13 Comments

Some years ago I decided there is a big difference between gardeners and yardeners. Gardeners plan ahead, perusing gardening catalogs all winter long. Yardeners step out in their front yards, cup of coffee in hand, gaze down at something green sprouting up and think, “Hmmm. I wonder what that is.”

The good news is that it’s not that hard to convert yourself from a yardener to a gardener. And whether you’re still waiting until the mood hits you to plant something, nurturing this season’s plantings, or already replacing failing plants, you can add some purpose to your efforts.

And yes, purpose requires planning. Of course, like me, you may be more likely to visit a nursery, buy something eye-catching, then go home and wonder where to plant it. Better to have a list, having thought out what plants work best in sunny spots versus shady areas or with lots of water versus next to none. And as tempting as it is to jump right into planting, experts say we must put in good soil or amend the soil we have.

Those super smart gardening people also advise having a color palette in mind for your flower garden and sticking to it, especially in smaller gardens. But don’t be afraid to think outside the flower box! Who knew purple and orange would look so good together, or even red and pink? It’s also good to take note of early versus late bloomers so you have some color in your garden all season.

Part of planting with purpose is deciding what wildlife or insects you would like for your garden to deter or attract. In this way the garden provides a purpose beyond being beautiful. For instance, if rabbits or deer have access to your garden, ask at the nursery for a list of plants that they don’t find quite as tasty as others. (Good luck!) You can even deter mosquitoes from gardens near an outdoor patio by planting citronella grass, basil, lemon balm, peppermint, lavender or catnip.

It’s a joy to see gardens that attract life, however, especially butterflies and hummingbirds. Monarch butterflies are sadly declining in number so planting milkweed for them is a good idea. Butterflies are also attracted to phlox, butterfly bush and coneflowers. Our hummingbird friends love any nectar-bearing red plant, but are also drawn to penstemon, lupine, salvia or cardinal flower. Bees need our support, too, and they thank us by pollinating! They love blue mist spirea, sage, or bee balm, and they won’t sting if left alone.

As with any creative enterprise, it’s okay to make mistakes, and gardens are so forgiving. Don’t hesitate to gently move plants that aren’t doing well to a different spot or (gasp!) throw them away and start over. Start small and you’ll soon discover you’ve given up yardening for gardening—and you’re planting with purpose. Enjoy!

A Letter to Mom

May 7, 2021 by Nancy 17 Comments

Letter writing is a dying art form in our society. What better time to resurrect it than Mother’s Day, when we can sit down and write a letter to our moms? If like mine your mother has passed on beyond the reach of the U.S. Postal Service, you can still write her a letter addressed to heaven and reap the benefits of feeling connected to her once again.

For most of my adult life I lived far away from my mother, either out of the country or on opposite sides of it. So Mom would faithfully write me letters telling me of all the everyday happenings in our hometown. She’d include an overview of the weather, how the garden was coming in, what my sisters and their families had been up to, any major improvements in the area—just any tidbit of news that would draw me closer to the place and people I loved and left. Almost always she would close with, “Well, I’d better finish up to beat the postman.”

I wrote her letters in reply, telling her news of the faraway places I lived and keeping her up to date on travel adventures and the “growing up” antics of my two sons. In short, we were pen pals as well as mother and daughter, and both of us were blessed by the letters that connected our lives and hearts.

It’s time to find some pretty stationery and write our moms again. But how can we make a letter to mom meaningful, whether she will read it or we’ll just deliver it in our hearts? One idea is to use the letters written by the Apostle Paul as our template.

Even though Paul sometimes wrote his letters from prison to churches he had visited, those in cities like Philippi, Corinth or Thessalonica eagerly awaited and shared the missives he sent. Why? Because Paul would most often begin with a warm greeting, add an expression of gratitude, offer a strong dose of encouragement (or admonition if needed), promote reconciliation and close with a message of hope.
Students of the Bible pour over the epistles of Paul for all the instruction on living the Christian life still relevant today. Though we may not want to include all of Paul’s elements in letters to our moms, they are a great place to start. For instance, we could say something like I thank my God every time I remember you (Philippians 1:3). We could remind her that we love her and that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7). Or bless her by closing like Paul often did: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you (1 Thessalonians 5:28).

Because of God’s love moving in us we should all be able to address our mothers warmly and with respect despite any lingering relationship issues, express our gratitude to them, share some happy memories, and encourage them to keep the faith. Such a letter will be a treasured gift for a mom still with you, or a joyful remembrance of a mom loved and lost.

(First published in Pikes Peak Senior News.)

Walk It Out!

April 11, 2021 by Nancy 12 Comments

Anxiety? Frustration? Cabin fever? Spring is here and it’s time to walk it out! Excuses for not taking a walk are easy to come by. It’s too cold. It’s too windy. It might rain. I walked yesterday…or one day last week. Yet the benefits of actually tying up those walking shoes and hitting the trail, the sidewalk, or even the track at a school near you, should be enough to overcome the excuses.

According to health experts the benefits of walking even 20-30 minutes a day include: heart health, weight loss, increased respiratory function, increased immunity, a chance for safe socialization outside, and plain old happiness. You feel better physically and emotionally when you have a walking routine (which is easier to stick to if you have a walking buddy). Besides, you don’t need lessons to learn how to walk for exercise, and you can do it almost anywhere.

Dog owners without fenced yards are encouraged by their canines to take walks a couple of times a day at least. Who can resist those big eyes imploring you to come explore the great outdoors with a best friend?

Once my husband and I were visiting my stepdaughter and her husband. The young couple never cooked at home so my husband was trying to explain how easy it is to throw a variety of ingredients into a wok for a quick and easy meal. Every time he said the word wok, however, their dog would appear in front of him with his leash in his mouth. We soon realized that he thought Jim was saying “walk” not “wok”! Hard to resist for sure.

Physical ailments can impair our ability to walk, of course, which is why I never take a pain-free walk for granted. I once had a heel issue for about two years and couldn’t walk—but gratefully found out I enjoyed swimming laps instead. Toe pain, plantar fasciitis, creaky knees, hips or ankles can all take the joy out of a nice walk, but wanting to get back to walking provides the motivation to work on alleviating the ailments as soon as possible. Start where you are and step out as much as you can.

In fact, whatever it is that’s bugging you this spring, go walk it out. It doesn’t matter how far you go or how fast you walk. Need some spiritual guidance? Turn your walk into a prayer walk. Struggling with a problem or relationship? The fresh air alone can clear the cobwebs and give you a clearer perspective by the time you return home.

As I was writing this blog post my husband stuck his head into my office and said, “I’m going for a walk, want to come?” My response was, “Sorry, I have to finish this post on the benefits of walking.” Hmmm… someone needs to follow her own advice. Now that I’m done, I think I’ll go for a walk.